


You Need To Calm Down, It's A Love Story

by hermajestythekaylor



Category: Real Person Fiction, Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25954411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermajestythekaylor/pseuds/hermajestythekaylor
Summary: Series of one-shots starring America's sweethearts, plus Kaylor.
Relationships: Joe Alwyn/Joshua Kushner, Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. So, You Fancy Me, Not Fancy Stuff

"They're only ever going to want you for your money," was the primary lesson Josh remembered from his childhood. His father sat stony-faced in front of a blazing fire, expensive cigar in hand as he mused about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, forgetting that he too, was one. Thinner from lowgrade prison food, wrinkled with the distress of legal issues marked on his face, Charles Kushner was a withered shell of the former father Josh once knew.

Josh carried that reminder with him, a small blackened stain on an otherwise caring heart and a slowly floating thought that swayed in the back of a generally thoughtful mind. He had relationships, of course, he had the odd flirtation with the beautiful socialites and elites that flitted around at business gatherings and soirees and had been offered the use of elite escort services by his father's friends. Yet even years later, when Josh had since matured into a friendly if awkward young man, who had caught the eye of men many and women, his father's words rang true in his ears every time his partner mentioned having their eye on a nice watch or took certain liberties whenever Josh announced that he would foot the bill for dinner.

He could afford it, of course, money wasn't the issue. Well, it was, but for a reason other than financial struggles. That's not to say Josh had only dated golddiggers in his life, however. He had, for almost twelve months, dated a pleasant supermodel by the name of Karlie, and she was genuine and loving but difficult scheduling resulted in a saddening though amicable breakup. She had never made him feel that she was with him for the money.

Still, Josh kept to himself for a while after his breakup with Karlie, mainly because his work kept him far too preoccupied for a relationship, and because his family's recent foray into politics alongside the Trumps resulted in Josh going from private and under-the-radar to his name becoming a black mark in Hollywood, a symbol of greed and bigotry across America.

All in all, Josh just simply didn't think romance would be in the cards for him for a long time.

Until he looked across the bar one night after a tiring day at work and found an adorably awkward smile and a pair of shining blue eyes staring back. One nervous shuffle over to the handsome stranger's table later, and Josh was walking away two hours later with a hastily scrawled phone number in his pocket and a beam on his face.

Simply put, Joe was unlike anyone else Josh had ever met. Where Josh's usual company was made up of stuffy middle-aged gentlemen in ill-fitting suits, drab and gruff, Joe's passion for acting, his craft, inspired Josh on days when he felt burnt out after countless board meetings and tired of uptight, staunch businessmen with coal in their hearts and dollar signs in their eyes. Josh tried to repay Joe whenever he could, on days when Joe was nervous about an upcoming audition, he would ensure that Joe started off his day with a bouquet of roses and breakfast in bed. He would sometimes be late to work after (for as innovative as he was with technology, the ability to flip a pancake had always evaded Josh), and receive stern glares from Jared and his investors after, but the tender smile on Joe's face and the gentle crinkle in his eyes whenever Josh presented his only semi-burnt breakfast to him made it all worth it.

And, of course, there were other things Joe did with his mouth that made it all the better too.

It had all started innocently enough. Joe had recently landed a role in an upcoming romance film and Josh had recently secured an investment in Oscar Health from a major stakeholder that had earned him a round of celebratory drinks from Jared and a blunt 'well done' from his father. So, all in all, a good reason for the couple to find themselves at La Brochette one night, safe from any prying paparazzi or intrusive persons. Joe's hand was resting on the table, with Josh's hand atop it as the actor perused the menu, a curious smile on his face.

"Been here before, babe?" Joe asked casually.

"A few times, yeah," Josh replied. "I'd recommend the filet mignon, c'est spectaculaire."

"I didn't know you spoke French. You've been holding out on me."

"Well, when in Rome..." Josh countered with a shy chuckle.

"You're full of surprises, babe, do you know that?"

"You think so?"

"I know so. And speaking of surprises, I have something to ask you. I have to go to the UK for a couple of weeks to shoot my film, and I was hoping that you could come, just for a few days, because I know you're super busy with work, but I was hoping I'd be able to introduce you to my friends. I mean, I've been telling them about this amazing guy I've been seeing for the past five months, and they're starting to question if I made him up, so, I'd really like to prove to them that my dream guy is real."

"You can tell your friends that your mystery boyfriend will be there with bells on," Josh said, and he meant every word.

Joe looked up from his menu and smiled at Josh, soft and sweet. It was intimate, a special smile just for him, one that the media weren't privy to. They knew of the relationship, but not of the kindhearted demeanor of Joe's that Josh was almost certain he had fallen in love with at this point. And if he hadn't, he at least felt enough that he wanted to go to London and meet Joe's friends.

Even if that terrified him. 

*

Joe and Josh stood hand-in-hand in front of Cock and Woolpack underneath the stone-gray London sky. It was a nice looking pub, Josh thought, its chipped and weathered blue-and-black paint and large bright window providing it with an oddly homely and inviting look. Still, its warm demeanor failed to quell his nerves as his stomach twisted into even tighter knots. Joe, excited to spend time with his college friends, was wearing a radiant beam on his face, whereas Josh was bearing more of a nervous grin as he looked at his boyfriend's chirpy expression.

Joe looked over at Josh, sensing the businessman's fretfulness. "Hey," he murmured, before quickly pressing Josh's hand to his lips. "Don't worry about it, pumpkin. They're going to love you, and if they don't, well, you've seen this gun show, I could take any of them in a fight if they acted like knobheads."

Josh couldn't help but smile ever so slightly at the cheesy pet name Joe had for him, and he could feel the pink rising in his cheeks, heightened by the biting London chill. "You've never called me that in public before."

"There's a first time for everything, honeybear," Joe chuckled.

"Pumpkin is fine, but I draw the line at 'honeybear', it sounds hideous," Josh countered, though he smiled still.

"You got it, Joshie. You ready to go in now?"

"Yeah, babe, I'm ready," Josh said.

Walking into the bar, it was everything he would expect his boyfriend to love. Unpretentious, welcoming, and inimitably English, the pub was cozy with warm wood decorating the interior. It was unlike the cold, refurbished bars Josh was used to frequenting in New York City and it made it all the more special to him.

"Joe! Joe!" someone called out from the bar. "Over here!"

Joe turned as he faced two of his friends, an already wide grin on his face expanding rapidly as he moved closer to his mates. He relinquished his grip on Josh's hand, leaving the entrepreneur to amble behind him as he rushed over to his mates, only for Josh to notice that they were staring beyond Joe and had their eyes on him instead.

"Wow, Joe," one of his friends hollered. "You know, when you first told us about the sugar daddy you'd landed, I didn't believe you'd be capable of it, but he's a real catch!"

Joe laughed his friend off with a playful swat at his shoulder, but Josh found himself briefly frozen in his tracks.

Sugar daddy?

Was that really how Joe had introduced him to his mates?

Was that all Joe saw him as?

Josh continued to move forward towards Joe and his friends, though almost robotically, his legs were walking but his mind

Josh only just returned to reality in time for him to see Joe's friend, the one who had made that comment, outstretch his hand for Josh to shake. He had probably already given his name, which Josh had missed, which would make for very awkward conversation later. "Nice to meet you," he replied, trying to fight off his nerves as best he could. He probably sounded shaky and, even worse, cold and stiff when he said it, but What's-His-Name didn't make anything of it if he felt it was gruff.

"The boys and I are just up the back here in the booth," Joe's friend said. "They don't really care about seeing you, but they're absolutely chuffed to meet Joshua."

"Well, you can tell them I'm not joyed to see them either, I just came back for the grog, cause it's bloody delicious. Josh, wait until you try, it will put your New York steaks to shame."

"I don't doubt it," Josh said quietly, following Joe's lead as his partner reached for his hand from behind.

Joe turned around and gave him a quizzical stare, sensing his partner's discomfort, which Josh returned with a quick forced smile and squeeze of Joe's hand, their private signal when words couldn't be said aloud. Joe stared at him for a second longer, as if he was questioning Josh's truthfulness, but Josh kept his smile up for a little longer, and so Joe blew him a swift kiss before turning back around, gently pulling Josh along.

"And here he is," Joe said. "The guy you didn't think existed even though we've been papped together four times in the past five months. Seriously, how did you not believe me?"

"Well, Joe, Josh is a very attractive man and you have a very common face, he could have been with any number of twinks that look similar to you," one of Joe's friends teased. "Anyway, Josh, nice to meet you, I'm Charlie."

"Hi," Josh said, a small, forced grin on his face. "It's nice to finally meet you all. London is a gorgeous place."

"Depends on which part of London you're in. Where are you lot staying?" Charlie asked.

"Trinity Square," Josh said, not particularly wanting to say the words 'Four Seasons' but Charlie seemed to figure it out anyway.

"Ah, that's nice. Maybe next time, we could all visit you and Joe in the Big Apple. Fly first-class, put up in the Hilton-"

"Shut up, knobhead," one of Joe's friends intervened. "Sorry about that, Josh, he's just a little bit of a fucking idiot. I'm Drew, and this is Benjamin. Just ignore Charlie, he came here early and hit the bar before anyone else did."

"Oh, he knows it's harmless fun. Richard, back me up here," Charlie scoffed.

What's-His-Name, or Richard, as Josh had now learned simply flipped his friend off and sat down in the booth, leaving Josh the chair in the far corner, which, truth be told, was fine with him. He didn't particularly want to be the center of attention here anyway, even though the main reason why he was in England in the first place was because Joe wanted him to meet his friends.

Josh was the center of attention for perhaps two more minutes at most. As he settled down into the corner, the other boys began grilling Joe about his work, congratulating him on his successes and telling him how proud they were of him. There was a rugby game playing on the small screen by the table that Charlie was particularly interested in, occasionally pausing conversations to cheer or boo at the screen, which none of the other guys seem particularly phased by.

He could sense the occasional glances being thrown in his direction whenever the topic of college fees or rent were brought up. A glimpse at his Rolex, a peek at his Gucci frames he pulled out when peering at the menu. Joe could tell his boyfriend was somewhat uncomfortable, he knew it made him feel awkward when he had more than anyone else around him did, and changed the topic of conversation whenever possible. He patted Josh's leg, held his hand under the table, all in an effort to soothe him, but it didn't have the same healing effect it usually did.

Josh wasn't completely silent, he contributed to the conversations, he even pulled a few chuckles out of Drew and Benjamin, not to mention Joe, who had lit up whenever Josh chatted with his friends, not feeling entirely uncomfortable for a select few moments.

Maybe Joe did feel just as genuine towards this relationship as Josh did.

But then again, Joe was an actor, was he not, supplied Josh's brain every time he looked at his boyfriend's charming smile. 

*

As the night drew to a close, Josh sat at the end of the table, desperately wishing the Roberto Cavalli sweater he was picking at cost sixty dollars instead of six hundred. He had avoided attention for much of the night, instead choosing to fluctuate between reveling in hilarious stories of his boyfriend's college days and the daunting feeling that his partner looked at him with dollar signs in his eyes. Then the dreaded moment came when the cheque bounced onto the table, and Josh realized eyes that had previously been on the table were now slowly crawling up to his face.

"So..." Charlie drawled, looking directly at Josh. "Is there anyone on this table with a net worth of eight hundred million dollars that wouldn't mind helping us out here?"

Josh squirmed in his chair as he felt everyone's stare on him. It wasn't the money that was the issue, he could definitely pay for it, but the reminder that his background would always set him apart from Joe was more prominent than ever. If Joe's friends couldn't see past his wallet, how could he expect Joe to when the reminder was there every day?

"Absolutely not," Joe interrupted. "You knocked back six beers and Josh barely had two. We're splitting the cheque evenly."

"It's fine, Joe, I can pay," Josh mumbled, pulling out his wallet.

"No, it's okay," a reddened Charlie responded. "Joe's right, we all should chip in."

"I can at least cover the tip," Josh offered, seeing Richard still eyeing him.

"No, we're all going in," Joe said, and his assertive tone would normally be much more attractive and alluring to Josh if he hadn't been feeling so distressed.

The men grumbled under their breath but relented and each threw a handful of notes onto the table. As the final chatter quieted down for the night, people began saying their farewells, grinning and hugging as each went, with some awkward handshakes for a shy Josh, who stood to the side as Joe said goodbye to his friends.

Josh was quiet in the cab ride back to the hotel. Joe still had a small grin on his face well after he had bid his friends good night and seen them off but there was no said smile to be found on Josh's face, which was fixated on his phone, refusing to look at the man next to him.

"Something the matter, babe? You've been kind of quiet and you usually love our cab rides together. They're like date night for us," Joe said softly, outstretching his hand for Josh to take it, which he didn't.

"I'm fine," Josh mumbled, his eyes still on his phone.

Even without looking at Joe's face, Josh could tell by the quiet 'okay' his boyfriend gave in response and the painfully loud slithering sound of Joe retracting his hand from the leather seat in between them that the actor was heartbroken and hurt. It tugged and taunted the knot of guilt twisting in Josh's stomach, but it soon melted away as the cold reminder of Josh's title to Joe and his friend's played in the back of his mind, overlapping with his father's words from his childhood, and the guilt subsided, if only for a moment.

Josh's hurt wasn't alleviated when he and Joe returned to their hotel either. The resplendent finery arranged in a sequence most romantic, from the cozy armchair in front of the electric fire to the marble bathtub to the freshly-made bed where a tangle of sheets and lust had laid there only a night prior.

Without saying a word to Joe, he moved over to the kitchenette and poured himself a drink, only for Joe to sit at the counter in front of him, a slightly confused crease in his eyebrows as Josh continued to ignore him.

"Okay, Josh, what's going on? If you're going to give me the cold shoulder, you could at least tell me that you don't want to talk about it rather than telling me that everything is fine when it clearly isn't. Is it work, babe? Did I do something? Did something happen with your family?" Joe asked, and Josh could tell that underneath a caring tone, light frustration was bubbling to the surface.

Unfortunately, Josh was also feeling frustrated, and it all boiled and bubbled and frothed until he reached his tipping point, and poor Joe stood there, a bemused expression on his face as Josh unraveled before his eyes.

"What did Richard mean when he said that you told them about me by raving about the... ugh, sugar daddy that you apparently 'landed'? Is that seriously what you saw me as, Joe? Is that all this is to you? I buy you nice dinners and zip you all around the world, and you hang on my arm at functions and that's it?" Josh snapped, his eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but Joe's face as he ran a hand through his hair.

When he finally stared at Joe's face again a mere moment after his outburst, Josh's heart broke. The guilt settled in as he saw the defeated look in Joe's eyes, the downturned quirk of his lips where a smile had once sat and the crease in his eyebrows. Joe wasn't responsible for the behavior of his friends, they were drunk and idiotic and he had just hurt his sweetheart over an irrational fear. Not once had Joe ever made him feel like he was with him for his money, not once had Joe made him feel like he had an ulterior motive and

"Joe-" Josh began pleadingly, moving closer, only to be cut off by his boyfriend.

"-You really think that's all I see you as? When we first started dating, I picked up every cheque, I paid for every cab ride. And do you know why? Because I really, really liked you, and my absolute biggest fear when we first started dating would be that you would think that I'm only sticking around for the money, and I never wanted to feel that you were just an ATM machine to me. I promise you, I didn't introduce you to them as... that. I introduced you as my adorable boyfriend who helps me practice for auditions even though he doesn't know the first thing about drama and who made me a London scrapbook when I was feeling homesick. I told them your name, and naturally, Richard and a few other guys knew who you were. They made some comments about... that aspect of you but I shut them down and told them that you meant way more to me than your credit card did."

Joe's tone had started off cold and monotonous but eventually broken down into pleading and hurt as he finished, no longer even looking in Josh's direction as he spoke, his hand running through his hair on repeat, a nervous tic that Josh usually found charming but today stressed him to no end. Joe sighed and walked over to the sofa, collapsing on it with a groan. Josh followed suit, sitting next to his partner, who was still frowning but did not move away.

"Joe..." Josh began softly. "I'm really sorry, honey. I'm not going to say that I've had this experience with everyone I've ever dated, but when you're part of one of the most notorious families in America, you have to wonder at times whether you're a boyfriend or a bank account. I was frustrated with that comment, mainly because... you're really special to me, and just the idea of us not having that connection, I guess, broke my heart. I don't know, I'm not good at talking about these things, but I never meant to imply that you would be capable of using me, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm sorry that I made you feel like you would do that because truthfully... you mean so much to me."

Joe was unresponsive for a moment, closing his eyes and bringing his hands to his knees as Josh wallowed in the silence, only for his partner to loudly sigh and turn his head away from Josh.

His heart dropped to his stomach, fearing the very worst.

"Are you going to say it first or am I?" Joe said with a small smile on his face.

And then Josh's heart soared.

"I love you," Josh said, intertwining his hand with Joe's. "I love you. And now I love saying that to you."

Joe didn't respond for a moment, leaving Josh to briefly fret over whether he meant something else, something other than the three words that had tumbled out of his mouth. He didn't regret them, he had meant them, but if Joe didn't feel the same way, Josh didn't kn-

Joe cut Josh's doleful musings off with a kiss, long and passionate, conveying everything he felt for Josh in one fell swoop. Still, Josh wanted to hear him say it, just to be doubly sure and so when Joe broke their kiss and stared into Josh's eyes, he knew he was going to hear it and his heart raced before he even heard the first syllable.

"I love you too, Joshua Kushner," Joe replied, punctuating each word with a gentle kiss. "Next time you feel anxious about something like this, do you promise to talk to me about it instead of closing yourself off? I know there's probably a lot of people you can't trust in this world, but I'm not one of them and I want to prove that to you."

"You have, mon petit chou," Josh said softly. "There, now I have a ridiculously cutesy name for you too."

"You know how I said I liked it when you spoke French?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, now I really like it when you speak French," Joe murmured, low and gravelly in Josh's ear.

"Yeah?" Josh responded. "How much?"

Joe pulled him in for a kiss, searing and passionate, lifting himself off the sofa and pulling Josh with him, his intentions perfectly clear as his hands slid under Josh's shirt.

Josh didn't question Joe's motives for being with him ever again.


	2. How You Get The Girl

Josh was not the type of person to gossip. From a young age, he and his family and been the subject of much conjecture bandied about New York's inner circles, not to mention across America and the rest of the world. It was something he had learned to tune out over the years, like bad business advice or Justin Bieber songs. He still felt minute twinges of anguish every time he saw his brother's name, or worse, his name splashed across a headline, but it was dulled now, expected rather than startling. He had also grown accustomed to the staring, and the knowledge that whenever he entered a room, all eyes were on him, and hands flew up to mouths, not out of shock, but rather to cover indiscreet rumors being spread from ear to ear.

The point was, Josh was not the kind of person to involve himself in the affairs of other people, knowing exactly how it felt to have other people do it to him. Well, he usually didn't involve himself.

This was a rare exception.

We begin our story in New York...

It was a dreary day at the office. Rain was splattered across TriBeCa, rolling off the windows with ease, only to be replaced moments later. It was a gloomy day in the office as people milled around in suits of grey as morose as the weather, drab and dissatisfactory with no end in sight. Josh himself was not having a great day either, an angry phone call with a dissatisfied investor further dissipating a happy mood that had already been slighted by cold coffee and an unavoidable puddle on the sidewalk that had resulted in ruined designer socks.

All in all, Josh was counting down the seconds until he was back in his apartment, snuggled up next to Joe, and enjoying a cheese Danish whilst they watched 'The Great British Bake-Off' together. Joe would be researching a new role, one arm wrapped around Josh and the other scrolling on his laptop, and every moment would be far more enjoyable than his drafty office.

Looking around the space, Josh could tell that the feeling was shared across the company. Taylor, his secretary seemed just as morose as he, her head bent down as she furiously typed away at her computer. Even by the water cooler, the general camaraderie was lost and none of Josh's employees seemed interested in discussing technological advancements or even just Netflix today.

Well, save for one person that had just waltzed into the room. Strikingly tall and beautiful was the lanky blonde, wrapped in a yellow sundress against a collage of grays. Yet that still wasn't the most noticeable feature of hers, it was the megawatt smile that she wore like a string of pearls, as if the sky was beaming down on the city instead of crying rain.

Her name was Karlie, and Josh knew that she would be here for him, given that this was his business and all, but he didn't understand the purpose of the visit. Still, ever meek, and polite, Josh stood up and crossed over to wait for her, as she was now standing at Taylor's desk.

"Hi," Karlie said cheerfully. "I'm Karlie, you must be Taylor."

Taylor's response was... unexpected. "Um, yeah, I am..." she sputtered.

"I'm Joe's half-sister, I'm looking for Josh. He has a meeting coming up soon and thus Joe insisted that he was too busy to go down to Starbucks for his usual lunch, so, he asked me to bring it to him," Karlie explained.

"Yep... that's... yep..." Taylor jabbered. "I'll, um, tell-"

"Karlie!" Josh called out from the corner, saving Taylor from any further potential embarrassment. "You're a sight for sore eyes, what brings you here?"

"Your lunch that your boyfriend so lovingly prepared for you because he knows that you have a meeting with those 'asshole investors' today and so you don't have the time to go on your lunch break."

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Josh replied.

"Yeah, and you better not forget it, mister. Have you seen this gun show? I could easily take you in a fight."

Josh chuckled at Karlie's playful banter and flexing of her muscles, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a much less casual Taylor choking on her water, her face crimson red as she fixated on Karlie, who was oblivious to Taylor's blatant ogling.

"I hate to cut this short, but I better go, I have to prepare for that meeting, but I'll see you soon," Josh said.

"Sure thing! Bye, Josh, best of luck with the meeting," Karlie said before turning to Taylor, whose eyes had not left Karlie during the entire exchange. "Goodbye, Taylor, it was nice to meet you."

"You too, Karlie! Please come by again soon!"

Karlie responded with a small wave but a generous smile before she walked out of the room. Taylor's eyes followed her every step, centered on the entranceway where Karlie had left moments ago. It was cute, in all honesty, Josh thought, how adorably infatuated Taylor was.

Until her phone began to ring, and Taylor displayed no sign of answering it, her focus on still on the door and her face contorted into a dream-like haze.

"Taylor," Josh said quietly, to no avail. "Taylor. Taylor. Taylor!"

"What? Oh, my apologies, Mister Kushner, the phone, of course, the phone. I'm sorry, I was just... lost in thought."

Josh gave her a quick smile as if to say he forgave this transgression, and ambled back to his office, lunch in hand.

*

The next time Karlie was in Josh's office, she was amicably chatting with Taylor whilst she waited for him to finish up an important phone call. Naturally, Karlie was doing most of the conversing whilst Taylor more or less just nodded enthusiastically and replied with mainly incoherent sentences, but Karlie didn't seem to mind too much. Karlie told Taylor how much she loved her hair and Taylor spent the next three minutes of her life engaging in non-stop nervous laughter as she twirled it. Karlie waved Taylor goodbye as she left, adding a wink and a smile this time, and Taylor nearly fell out of her chair.

Josh noticed this incident too, and how nervous Taylor seemed to be around Karlie, but didn't say anything about it, for fear of embarrassing Taylor, and she didn't need to be anymore dumbfounded around Karlie than she already was, especially not if Josh was right about her liking Karlie.

By the third time Karlie strolled into the office, sunny smile firmly in place, Josh was certain of his hypothesis. Taylor turned away from the entrance, where Karlie was talking to one of Josh's employees, hastily reapplying her lipstick and checking her hair in her compact mirror before shooting back up in time for Karlie to lean over Taylor's desk, coffee in hand. Despite the distance between Josh and Taylor, he could see the crimson blush on her face even from his desk. Her cheeks could have put traffic lights out of work, glowing a vivid rose red, and it increased tenfold when Karlie leaned over the desk to wipe a smudge of lipstick off the corner of Taylor's lips.

Josh didn't need to hear the conversation to know that his secretary was a stammering mess right now. Karlie left Taylor with a caramel latte on her desk (which Josh already knew about because she texted him asking what Taylor's drink of choice was at Starbucks) and a soft wave before entering Josh's office.

"Good morning," she said. "Thank you so much for meeting me, I'm really excited about it."

"Hi, Karlie. It's not a problem, I think your coding classes are a very worthy venture. I've just got to finish up a couple of emails and I'll be right with you."

Talking to Karlie provided Josh with the opportunity to steal a quick glance at Taylor, who was still evidently dumbfounded by her interaction with Karlie. Her fingers were absentmindedly tracing the corner of her lips where Karlie's hand had touched her face moments ago, her mouth stretched out into a soft smile and her expression dopey and vacant, but happy nonetheless.

It reminded Josh of his first kiss with Joe. The sweetness of his hands interlocking with his own as he kissed him, the gentleness of Joe's lips pressed against his cheek before they relocated to his mouth, and how one simple, innocent action left a smile on Josh's face illuminated by the staining glow of the stars and twilight moon that remained until the final shutter of his eyes for the night.

So, when he left his office just after dusk, he figured it was worth mentioning to his boyfriend.

Joe was sprawled out on the sofa when Josh returned home, glasses crooked on his face as he pored over research for a new role he had recently been offered. He had a small smile on his face as he did his studies, soft and slight, but conveying every inch of his passion and reverence for his art, and it was one of Josh's favorite things about Joe.

"Hey, pumpkin," Josh greeted, closing the door behind him.

"Hey, babe," Joe replied. "How was work?"

"Mostly tiresome. But I got to have a great conversation with Karlie about her coding venture, so that was nice. Hey, this is a random question, but is your sister gay, by any chance?"

"That's a random question. She's not trying to steal my guy, is she?" Joe chuckled. "Cause I'm nervous if she is, she definitely got the looks in the family."

"Hmm, I think the looks were pretty evenly split, with Joe Alwyn taking the lead. Aaaaaand Joe wins!"

"If this is some very, very weird, roundabout way of trying to get me in the mood, I'm sorry, pumpkin, but I have too much work tonight. I can pencil you in for tomorrow evening."

"That's not what I was referring to, but I will gladly accept that reservation," Josh said, joining his boyfriend on the couch. "I was asking because I think Taylor has a teeny-tiny, supersized crush on your sister."

"Taylor? As in, your secretary? Really?"

"Every time Karlie comes into the office, she gets all flustered, and nervous and today she was doing her makeup and checking her hair before Karlie walked over and she wouldn't stop blushing and giggling and in short, very unlike her regular, professional self."

"Well, babe, my sister is a model," Joe pointed out. "Karlie tends to just naturally have that effect on people, she has for years."

"Yeah, but we've had heaps of really attractive people come into the office before and it's never had an impact on her," Josh countered.

"Oh, have you now? Who are all of these attractive people flocking into the office and what do they all want with my guy?"

"Well, there is this really hot guy that comes in sometimes, amazing body, soft blonde hair, thick British accent..." Josh teased.

"I would recommend that you shoot your shot except that guy apparently has a really cute boyfriend who has gorgeous shaggy hair and who likes to serenade him with Britney Spears songs when he's drunk and they're alone and he is absolutely smitten with that man and isn't interested in anyone else."

"Neither is his boyfriend," Josh agreed.

"Well, I'm very glad, although we will be circling back to the 'heaps of really attractive people' later. But I have to ask, is there a reason this is so important to you, pumpkin?"

"Aside from the fact that she just seems to really like Karlie, I just feel like Karlie would be able to bring Taylor out of her shell, and that's exactly what Taylor needs. I mean, I know that she's my employee and everything, but she's been with me for three years and she honestly feels like a friend. Like, I remember a few months after she started working for me, and she didn't talk about it much at work, because she's a professional, but she had suffered from a really bad breakup and she was crying on her lunch break in the bathroom and tired and lonely, and she hasn't put herself out there in a while. Taylor's amazing, but she's shy, like me, and I care about her and relate to her, and I just feel like she could use someone more extroverted and outgoing to be there for her, like how you were there for me. She could use someone like you in her life, and I think Karlie is perfect for her."

Joe's reaction was a gentle press of his lips to Josh's own, sweet and tender as he pulled Josh in closer to him and ran a hand through his hair. "I love you," he said quietly as he broke away, soft blue eyes gazing into admiring brown ones. 

"I love you too," Josh whispered. 

"Do you think Taylor is as attached to Karlie as I was to you when we first started talking?"

"I don't know, babe. We'll see."

Josh discovered just how attached Taylor had become to Karlie the very next day when he noticed her eyes wandering back to the doorway, over and over again. She was wearing a deep red lipstick and in place of her usual cardigan and skirt was instead a flattering red sundress to match.

He was pretty certain he knew why.

"Karlie isn't coming in today," Josh said to her as he picked up a stack of papers that needed signing. "If that's who you're looking around for."

"I-I wasn't- I mean, I just think she-"

"Taylor, it's okay. Karlie's attractive, I get it. We all know so."

"I'm sorry for being so flustered on the job, Mister Kushner. It won't happen again."

"Taylor, you once found me curled up and sobbing in one of the empty boardrooms after Joe and I had a fight, you can call me Josh. And you can tell me if you have a crush on my partner's sister."

"I wouldn't call it a crush," Taylor defended, though her blushing cheeks suggested otherwise. "I mean, she's definitely very beautiful, and so smart, I mean STEM is really hard to get into for women, and now she's got her own coding camp for girls? That's incredible. And she brought me a coffee the other day when she came in. But that doesn't mean anything. I just think she's an incredible person."

Josh quirked an eyebrow as his flustered secretary continued to blush and describe how amazing Karlie was but chose not to press the matter further. If she didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to force her.

But, damn, Karlie would be a perfect match for Taylor.

If he could only prove it.

*

Karlie was a common fixture at Josh (and really at this point, Joe's) apartment. It wasn't unusual for the three of them to have dinner together, and watch a film, sometimes a film with Joe in it if Josh and Karlie were in a particularly playful mood. Most of the time, Joe would cook something for them, the Brit proving himself to be proficient in cooking in addition to acting, but at times when Joe was exhausted after a long day on the set, or if they were simply craving something high in fat and low in cost, takeout was the go-to option.

Which is how Josh ended up at his kitchen table, discussing advancements in coding technology with Karlie whilst Joe prepared a honey roasted garlic chicken. Neither Joe nor Karlie knew of the specific reason Josh had invited Karlie over, she was such a regular visitor that Joe hadn't thought anything of it when Josh suggested Karlie stop by for dinner tonight.

It was a quarter to eight when Josh checked his watch, meaning that any minute now, he would have to clear himself from the room. "Dinner should be ready in a minute, so I'm going to help Joe plate up," he explained.

"Oh, let me help," Karlie offered.

"No, no, Karlie, it's okay. You're the guest here. Why don't you go check out Netflix, see if any of Joe's films have popped up on there."

"Will do," Karlie replied before moving over to the television.

"Hey, babe," Josh greeted, sliding over to Joe and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist.

"Hi, handsome," Joe replied. "You're not here to help me with dinner, are you? Because I don't really feel like putting out any fires tonight."

"Mean..." Josh grumbled playfully. "No, I just-"

Josh was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door, and he knew in an instant who it was.

"Karlie, would you mind getting the door, please?" Joe called out.

"Karlie," came Taylor's surprised reply. "I wasn't expecting you, is Mister Kushner here?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Karlie teased, and Josh could sense the flirtation dripping from her voice from a mile away, like honey, sugary and sticky as she spoke.

And poor Taylor was caught in the middle as she stumbled over her words in an effort to reverse her previous words whilst Karlie giggled, though not unkindly. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean that... in a bad way, I like seeing you, I just..."

"Taylor, it's okay," Karlie chuckled. "Come in, I'll go grab Josh for you."

Joe turned around to face his partner, a knowing smirk on his face as he stared down his boyfriend, who was wearing a cheekily innocent expression.

"You asked Taylor to come over so she could see Karlie, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you mean, I just had some paperwork that I forgot to bring back home with me, so I asked Taylor to bring it over," Josh explained.

"And she just happened to come at the same time Karlie was over, even though you've been home for nearly three hours now and Karlie's barely been here for one?"

"The world works in mysterious ways, Joseph."

"So... do you come here often?" Josh heard Taylor ask, and it was the most coherent statement that had come out of her mouth since she met Karlie.

"Oh, yeah, movie nights are pretty common for us," Karlie said, their voices growing louder as they came closer to the kitchen. "Do you have anything planned for tonight?"

"Um, well, not much," Taylor replied. "Just a couple of errands. Oh, hello, Mist- Josh. And Joe, hi."

"Hey, Taylor, thanks for coming over," Josh said. "You can just leave the paperwork on the counter there, I'll shift it into my office in a second."

Taylor nervously shuffled over to the counter and did as asked, leaving the stack of papers there. Karlie's eyes were trained on the secretary, a sweet smile on her face as Taylor smoothed down her dress and turned to leave. 

"Well, thank you so much for stopping by," Josh said. "I really appreciate it."

"That's it?" Karlie asked Taylor. "You're going already?"

Karlie had on her face a playful pout as she looked at Taylor's face, which had what Josh was now convinced was a perpetual blush on its face as Karlie made puppy-dog eyes at Taylor. "I guess so..." she replied unsurely. 

"Karlie has a point, Taylor, you've come all this way, why don't you join us for dinner?" Josh suggested. 

"I don't know..." Taylor replied, and she sounded just as nervous as before, but Karlie had a vastly differing persona from one only seen moments ago. 

This was Karlie's 'model mode', Josh figured from the smoldering stare, the sultry tone, and the way Karlie's eyes were locked onto Taylor's. Karlie had switched from her usually soft demeanor to one of much more sensuality and near hunger as she prowled over to Taylor.

"Are you sure you can't stay, Taylor?" Karlie asked and Josh could hear the blatant purr in her voice as she did so.

Josh turned his focus to his boyfriend to see whether he had picked up on this emerging dynamic between Taylor and Karlie. It appeared that he had noticed his sister's prurience if the uncomfortable grimace on his face was anything to go by. Josh sent him a sympathetic smile, but it went unnoticed as Joe's eyes darted around the room, determined to look anywhere but in the direction of Karlie and Taylor.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry but I have to go home to my cats and feed them. I'm not a crazy cat lady or anything though, I swear. I only have three! I'm cool!"

"Oh, okay then," Karlie replied. "Um, well, goodbye then, I guess."

"Bye!" Taylor squeaked, and she was out the door without another word.

"Is she okay?" Joe asked. "She ran out of here like she was on fire or something."

Josh couldn't help but notice the slightly hurt look on Karlie's face as she heard her brother's comment. There was a crease in her brow that hadn't been there before and the corners of her lips were downturned ever so slightly. "That's just Taylor for you," he responded in a subtle attempt to make Karlie feel better. "She's a flighty oddball but she's one of the kindest, most determined people I've ever met too. She's just not great with... social interactions."

"Anyway, I better get back to dinner before it burns. I'll catch up with you guys in a minute," Joe said, pressing a quick kiss to Josh's cheek before reentering the kitchen.

Karlie had rearranged her face into a small smile, but it drifted and faded as the night went on. Even when Josh triumphantly announced that 'The Favorite' had recently been made available on Netflix, Karlie's laugh was missing its usual charm and her eyes had more of a distant look about them than usual as if she had been drained of her joy, but not in a noticeable manner. 

Josh figured something had definitely shifted in Karlie that night when she didn't come by the office again, as both he and Taylor were so used to. Even when she had a meeting planned with Josh in regard to her coding camp, she canceled at the last minute citing a hectic work week, despite Josh having Taylor check both his schedule and Karlie's schedules in order to find a time that definitely worked. 

If Josh was disappointed by the sudden distance between him and the woman he hoped to someday be a brother-in-law too, then Taylor was a kicked puppy dog, whimpering and whining as she pined for Karlie's return. She didn't literally whimper of course, but every day that passed without Karlie sauntering through the doorway resulted in Taylor's bold red lipstick dulling in color and returning to its muted pinks of the past, and her sundresses returning to the back of her closet as her original cardigans took pride of place once more. 

It was back-in-her-shell Taylor, and the cause was definitely Karlie related. 

Josh just didn't know what to do.

*

The gala was nothing out of the ordinary, not for Josh, at least. Joe took great delight in adjusting Josh's bowtie before they left the house, telling his beau how handsome he looked when wearing one as he did so. Naturally, Josh had returned the compliment one or two hundred times, drinking in the sight of Joe dressed to the nines in his suit and absolutely relishing in the thought of relinquishing him of it later when they were home again. 

Taylor was at the benefit, one because Josh believed that her presence was integral to the success of the company, and secondly because she overworked herself and could use a night of fun, or pleasantries at least, something Josh didn't believe she experienced often. What he did not tell her, however, for fear of distressing her, was that Karlie would also be present, and when Karlie asked him if he was going to the soiree, he neglected to tell her that Taylor would also be there as a guest and representative of Oscar Health. 

Both women, however, looked absolutely stunning. Taylor was draped in a simple yet elegant red and white dress, modest yet flattering and suitable for such an event whilst Karlie had a floral, flowy gray dress on that Josh was certain would capture Taylor's attention (and regretfully, the attention of many married men in the room). 

He and Joe arrived not too long ago, and not being ones for media attention, skipped the press opportunities that their fellow partygoers were reveling in and headed straight for the party. Taylor entered the function not too long after, making an immediate beeline for the two men the second she saw them. 

They made small talk, and Taylor seemed fine, relaxed even, to Josh's relief. Until Karlie made eye contact with her brother, and politely dismissed whoever she was talking to and came over, to Taylor's shock as she hid behind Josh. 

"Hi, boys," Karlie greeted, sidling up to the trio. 

"Hey, Kar," Joe replied. "How are-"

"Taylor," Karlie said softly, not even bothering to let Joe finish his sentence. "Hi. You look... breathtaking."

"Thank you," Taylor cheeped, ducking her head. "You look so incredible tonight, Karlie. Not that you don't always look incredible, because you always, always look incredible but tonight you are exceptionally incredible, I guess. Wait, not 'I guess'. I know."

Josh had never seen Karlie blush before, and neither had Joe, based on his reaction, but there it was, plain as day and matching the bottom half of Taylor's face. 

"You're so sweet, Taylor," Karlie giggled. "I have to go mingle with some fashion moguls, but I'll hopefully see you later. Goodbye, gorgeous."

Joe had to grab onto Taylor before she fainted. 

"I have to go to the bathroom," an embarrassed Taylor said once she had regained composure. "Thanks, Joe."

"That was... something else," the actor commented as Taylor hobbled away. 

"I told you," Josh said, linking his arm with Joe's. "She's got it bad. And speaking of having it bad, have I told you that you look particularly hot tonight?"

"You have, but I wouldn't mind hearing it a few more times, it would give me the confidence boost I need before my audition on Monday."

"Oh, as if you haven't got that audition in the bag," Josh replied. "Come on, babe, let's go find our seats and pray we're not near anyone from Fox News, I don't want to hear an entire spiel about how my family is singlehandedly saving America again."

Joe and Josh saw neither Karlie nor Taylor for the rest of the evening. Josh had assumed Karlie was with some of the other socialites and models in attendance, and whilst he had no idea what Taylor had been doing for the past hour or so, he figured that she would most likely be conversing with any other secretaries or administrative staff present, so it didn't bother him much. 

Still, when it came time for people to start finding their seats in time for the main presentations of the night and Taylor was yet to return, Josh began to worry the slightest bit. Taylor knew how these functions worked, she had attended them before, and she knew that it would not look particularly good for Josh if his employees weren't demonstrating the proper etiquette at social gatherings. 

"I'm going to go see where Taylor's disappeared to," he explained to Joe, who nodded in response. 

Josh excused himself from the table and set off down the hall in hopes of finding Taylor. He would have had Karlie check the ladies' lavatory for her, but he didn't know where she was either and as she was not an employee of neither Oscar Health nor Thrive, Josh presumed that she was hanging out with her friends and did not press the issue further. He reached for his phone to text Taylor and see where she was, only for him to hear hushed voices coming from behind a closed door nearby. 

Josh wasn't going to lie. He knew that some of the men, particularly the older men, at this party were rich enough to get away with anything they wanted, and as much as the thought of it made his stomach turn, he knew that there would be men present tonight who would want to see just how far they could push that limit. Josh rushed to the door, thrusting it open without a second thought, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the faint lighting and- oh. 

Oh.

"Oh, wow, okay," Josh said, interrupting the ministrations of the two women.

Taylor, naturally, stammered and stumbled as Karlie detached her lips from her neck. Both women, even Karlie, were furiously red under the faint glow of the dim lightbulbs as Josh bowed his head and scratched at the back of his neck.

"Mister Kushner-" Taylor began.

"Taylor, it's fine," Josh interrupted. "I'm just gonna head out, um, I'll leave you to it. If you both want to agree that we never mention this experience again, I'm okay with that."

Joe, who had been amicably chatting with a couple of businessmen also at their table, seemed surprised by his boyfriend's flustered expression and nervous demeanor when he returned to the midst of the party, though he didn't bring it up in front of present company.

No more than thirty minutes later after the host's speech had wrapped up, Josh was sequestered in the corner of the room was nursing a glass of what to the naked eye appeared to be water, though had a much more potent effect on the mind than water did. Joe was seated next to him, holding his hand as he downed his glass, offering sweet words of comfort to alleviate whatever had disheartened him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a flustered Taylor smoothing down her dress as she rejoined the party. Whilst her hair was initially pinned up, it was now flowing freely around her shoulders, covering up a myriad of sins, Josh assumed. He and Taylor, albeit accidentally, made brief eye contact, with both parties averting their eyes immediately.

"You okay, Josh?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, honey. Just tired. And a little bored."

Just as Josh finished speaking, a tall blonde woman who had most certainly found a way to keep herself occupied during the boring gala walked in. Karlie had a dazed look on her face as she floundered into the room, the faintest smudge of lipstick just below her lower lip and a few stray hairs falling out of her bun that hadn't been there before.

He debated whether or not to tell his partner about this recent development but then decided against it, reasoning that Karlie would let her brother in on this fact when she was ready. He didn't have to push anyway.

Sometimes, the universe just had a way of working things out on its own.


	3. Lover

It had been weighing him down for the past three weeks now. Which was ironic, considering it weighed very little, but there it had sat, taking pride of place in both Josh's sock drawer and his heart. A simple platinum band, elegant in its simplicity but elephantine in its meaning. Josh could have sworn that if there was another source of light in the room other than just the dimming moon, then he would be able to see the holes his eyes had burned into his dresser.

Joe's body was draped across his partner's own, an arm lazily wrapped around Josh's torso as he slept, calm and still, oblivious to the other man's incessant musings and endless stream of thought. Josh shifted as he fixated upon the small ring, out of sight but most certainly not out of mind as he absent-mindedly ran a hand through Joe's soft blond hair, eyes still zeroed in on the seemingly inconspicuous bureau.

"Pumpkin," Joe mumbled, eyes still half-closed. "What are you doing up, it's so late..."

"Sorry, babe, just thinking about work."

"Think about sleep, Josh," Joe murmured.

Josh nodded in response and laid back down, but sleep was not a luxury he would be granted on this night as memories of everything that had led to this impending moment flooded his mind, rich in emotion and detail as if he were reliving the past rather than just rewatching it through a smudged mirror.

He remembered telling his siblings about the man who had stolen his heart, who he was absolutely, definitely, undeniably in love with. He remembered his brother uttering an excited murmur about how this would give the Trump administration a lot of credibility with the gay community, and he remembers Ivanka shooting her husband that could fracture glass before quietly telling him to shut up and be genuinely supportive.

He remembers making the nerve-wracking trip to his parents' home in Long Branch, knuckles pale as snow as he shakily gripped the steering wheel. No xanthous sunshine nor unmarred blue sky could settle the pitiful nerves that thrashed around in his stomach, untamed and threatening with every minute he grew closer to their house.

He drove back three hours later, his heart heavy and JDate installed on his phone, trying his absolute hardest to blink back tears as the road back to Joe laid ahead of him, dark and twisted and nothing like the scenic route he had taken on the way there. A car crash seemed imminent with the furious blinking back of tears that occurred every few seconds on the way home, on the way back to Joe. Privately, half of Josh's mind was hoping that his partner would be asleep, therefore giving him enough time to explain the reaction of his parents to Joe. Fate, however, as evidenced by today's misfortune, was cruelly mocking him, as where he had been praying that he would come home to find Joe peacefully slumbering in bed, only for his boyfriend to be alert and anxious on the sofa, heeding his arrival. Pleading blue eyes met defeated brown ones and Josh knew he was done for.

Joe, like Josh, had been expecting Joe's gender to be the bigger issue of the two, as opposed to his religion, but then again, Josh reasoned privately to himself, after fourteen months in a men's prison, his father was presumably far more accustomed to queer happenings than he may have previously been. There was of course, the additional issue Charles had raised about Joe's profession ("you couldn't even find a businessman?") but Josh didn't want to hurt his partner any more than he already had by informing him of his father's disparaging remarks about his livelihood.

Joe told Josh that it didn't matter what his parents thought, that their feelings about the relationship mattered most of all, but he could still sense the disappointment emanating from his boyfriend, even as he kissed him good night. Josh had asked Joe if he would want to stay the night, as he had done so previously the week prior, only for the Brit to politely reject his offer, citing an early flight to Atlanta the next morning to film 'Boy Erased'. Forlorn, Josh brushed off his feelings and bade his partner a safe trip.

Granted, Joe sent him a text message the next day telling him that he would miss him whilst he was in Georgia, and he once again reassured his partner that he was not concerned about his parent's musings. Josh had appreciated the message, and the comfort that came with it, of course, but the sight of Joe's downtrodden expression had burrowed itself within his heart and refused to budge. Life went on though, and the more he talked to Joe, the more kisses they shared, the more embraces they enjoyed, and the more nights together they indulged in, the more Josh realized Joe was right, and it really did not matter what the senior Kushners thought.

However, that incident with Josh's parents had led to their first argument a few weeks later when Joe stormed into Josh's bedroom, holding his phone, and demanding to know who Isaac was and why he had matched with Josh. The entrepreneur looked confusedly at his partner before remembering the disastrous meeting with his parents where Charles had stared him down and firmly told him that he was opposed to this relationship and that it wouldn't be going any further if he had anything to say about it.

Joe was on the precipice of tears, pink-faced and broken as Josh pleaded with him to understand that this was his father's doing and that he had no intention of seeing neither Isaac nor any other person he "matched" with. Joe had been somewhat apprehensive ("why would you keep it on there?" he had asked and Josh had told him earnestly that he had simply forgotten to delete it) but relented after a reddening Josh reluctantly shifted over to his bedside table and pulled out some sheets of paper that he shyly handed to Joe.

"You've been... writing me poetry?" The actor had asked, a small, bemused smile on his face as his eyes gave the sheet a once-over.

"It was suggested to me by one a psychologist I met at a conference recently that I manage my stress through creative outlets. And seeing as our six-month anniversary is coming up, I thought..." Josh explained. "It's not good, it's stupid, I-"

"Pumpkin, this isn't stupid at all, it's sweet. And I have something equally mushy for you too," Joe replied, reaching for his overnight bag. "I know this sounds creepy, but sometimes when I draw, I like to sketch you, especially when you're sleeping, cause you have your cute little curl there and you look so relaxed and peaceful and it inspires me."

"I'm gonna have this framed," Josh said, holding up the sketches. "No, I mean it, I was looking for some artwork to jazz up my office anyway and whilst some of my employees might think it extremely narcissistic of me to have portraits of myself hanging up there, I would love to have a part of you with me at work each day."

"We're the cheesiest, corniest little saps in the world," Joe said and he marked this declaration with a kiss on Josh's cheek to prove it.

Then he remembered his first time seated at the dinner table in the Alwyn residence. An outsider, most definitely, though Joe's family were more receptive to him than his family was to Joe, even if he did see nervous glances being thrown between Elizabeth and Richard when they thought no one was looking. He nervously trailed behind Joe as they helped his parents clear the dishes, and he loitered in Joe's old room as Elizabeth and Richard talked with their son. The blue walls were simultaneously Josh's greatest ally and worst enemy as they muffled out the sound of voices steadily growing louder, no doubt the airing of many grievances previously left unsaid out of respect.

Joe trotted into the bedroom twenty minutes later, worn-down, and tired. Before Josh could even ask how he was feeling, Joe bent down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Soft and reassuring yet conveying a thousand bitter thoughts presently unexpressed, Josh reached for his partner's hand and squeezed it gently as they embraced.

Their signal.

It was how Josh knew that Joe was not yet ready to discuss what had transpired, meaning that regretfully, it did not have the positive outcome they had been hoping for. Joe was wearing the same downhearted expression he had when Josh broke the news of their union to his parents, lingering disappointment in his eyes and resentment in the downturn of his lips, except this time it was a direct result of his own family's actions.

Joe had clambered into bed beside Josh, claiming that jetlag was profoundly affecting him and that he needed a nap. Josh, who was truthfully somewhat exhausted too, agreed and allowed himself to relieve himself of his hurt for a moment and rest instead. He felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around him and Joe's head against the crook of his shoulder. The two gentlemen laid there, taking each other in as they succumbed to a much-needed sleep, the hurt they felt within dissipating as they embraced.

Patrick had woken them up from their nap a couple of hours later, knocking on the door and announcing that it was time for dessert and family game night. Joe had initially suggested that they reject the offer and continue to rest, but Josh said that he was fine, and that Joe should make the most of his time here with his family.

Game night was awkward, to say the least. Dessert was lovely, consisting of a sticky toffee pudding for the Alwyns and bakery-bought babka for Josh, which he appreciated and shared with his boyfriend, who was still slightly scowling at his parents. Patrick and Thomas kept the demeanor light as best they could despite the minor animosity between Joe and his parents, whether they were aware of the situation or not, taking some of the load off Josh's shoulders, as he had been anxiously squeezing Joe's hand for the past ten minutes. Personally, Josh felt awkward sitting there, almost unwanted despite the best efforts of the Alwyn parents to make him feel welcome in their home. He knew Joe could sense his discomfort, because every squeeze of Joe's hand was met with a soft brush of a thumb against his own. Throughout the night, Josh tried to match Elizabeth's hospitality with candor of his own, pushing down his queries about what it was she and Richard said about him that upset Joe so much.

"They do really like you, Josh," Joe had said to him quietly later when they were lying in his old room together. "I promise, they think you're proper sweet."

"But..."

"They just raised some... concerns... about your family. They didn't know much, obviously, not living in the US and all, but they knew about Jared's connections and Charles' history and they were a little worried about what I was getting myself into."

"And?" Josh whispered.

"And I told them that I didn't give a fuck about who your family members were because all I care about is my geeky boyfriend with a handsome smile who likes to watch 'The Office UK' with me whilst we're cuddling who isn't anything like his brother or father."

Josh had held Joe in his arms then as he reaffirmed his affection for him, soft in smile and eyes but firm in tone as the Brit spoke, a feeling of adoration and yearning stronger than he had ever felt before, drowning out all else. It took him a brief moment to understand what it was, but one tender press of Joe's lips to his made it abundantly clear what he was feeling.

And although he had been too scared, too unsure to say those three words then, he heard them reverberating in his head now as he rested in his West Village apartment, still holding Joe close now under the dim glow of the moonlight pouring in from the window, an unbreakable smile written on his face.

"Josh," Joe whined softly. "I can tell you're still wide awake and I'm not happy about it, go the fuck to sleep already."

"If you can sense that I'm still awake then doesn't that mean you're awake too, like me?" Josh teased.

"I'm not taking your shit tonight, Kushner, shut up and sleep now," Joe grumbled.

Josh chuckled softly before responding. "Good night, my love."

"Night, pumpkin."

Josh shifted further into the bed, pulling Joe closer into him as he did so. As Josh attempted to settle into a dreamless repose, he concentrated on the steady heartbeat of the man next to him, calming and in time with his own. He could hear the light snoring, the heavy breathing against his chest like a lullaby, melodic, and soft. As Josh felt himself drift in and out of consciousness, there was only one consistent thought dancing in his mind.

This was, without a doubt, the man Josh wanted to marry.

And he wanted to do it now.

💍

"It feels like ages since our last date night together," Josh said over breakfast six hours later.

Joe put his toast down and looked at his boyfriend with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. "Is that something you intend to change?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe tomorrow night, just you and me right here, I'll cook something nice, wear something nice..."

"Wear nothing if you like," Joe suggested. "But seriously, tomorrow night sounds incredible. We're wrapping up filming tomorrow so it will be great to come home and celebrate with my biggest fan."

"It's a date then," Josh replied with a smile. "Six work for you?"

"Yeah, I only have a small couple of scenes to shoot in the afternoon, so I'll be back in time for a brilliant date night with my proper ace boyfriend. I feel like this is going to be a very special night for us."

Joe's statement was perfectly innocent, nothing to suggest that he understood Josh's intentions to propose tomorrow but it still sent shivers down his spine to hear his partner speak of their night's plans in such a way that implied he knew what was to occur.

"I have to get going now but I will most definitely be seeing you later this evening," Joe said, standing up to kiss Josh's forehead. "I love you, pumpkin, I can't wait for tomorrow night."

Josh blushed at the intimate act and expressed similar sentiments to his hopefully soon-fiancé. He was somewhat distracted as Joe fetched his coat and stepped out of the house, not without blowing a final kiss to his boyfriend before closing the door. Normally, Josh would have reciprocated with a small wave or a kiss back if he was feeling particularly flirtatious but his mind was running a mile a minute, too preoccupied with tomorrow and what was to come and the absolute need to get everything right.

Romance was not yet a skill that Josh had perfected. That's not to say he hadn't tried, he was more than capable of being sentimental and mawkish when the occasion called for it, but it required a lot of effort in order to ensure that he didn't cross the line from charming into maudlin. His ailment was only somewhat improved by the knowledge that Joe was far more casual and low-key than other partners Josh had been with, as where others might prefer a luxurious night out on the town, Joe was content on the sofa, curled against Josh's side, pressing lazy kisses to his cheek.

Still, he only had one chance at proposing and it had to be done perfectly.

He and Joe didn't talk about it much more when they returned home the very same night. Joe whispered in his ear that he couldn't wait for tomorrow, and it was the last thing Josh heard before he fell asleep, a smile on his face.

The next day, however, was very different. Joe was out of the house before Josh was even out of bed, having to rush right off to the studio to begin filming. He told his boyfriend that he loved him and said that breakfast was on the table for him because he knew that Josh had a very busy work day in front of him, and Josh thought about that sweet little gesture from the time he sat down at the kitchen counter to the time he was on his way to the office and received an emergency call from his brother.

Joe sent him a text message at about half past two, nothing out of the ordinary for the pair. It was short, and it was simply "I know you're super busy, but I wanted to tell you that I love you 💖", and Josh, in an embarrassingly saccharine act of private affection, lightly kissed his phone screen before sending a message back.

Truthfully, Josh hadn't been nearly as busy at work recently, but he appreciated the gesture anyway.

Admittedly, in a moment of self-indulgence rarely displayed by him when at work, Josh had spent the last two days focused less on his business and more on obscure wedding details, like flower arrangements and themes and cake toppers. He never pictured himself to be the type of person to obsess over his nuptials like a lovestruck schoolgirl but then again, he never figured he would be head-over-heels for a blonde and British thespian either. He was only slightly ashamed of the fact that when he should have been drafting up documents for a meeting with his investors that afternoon, he was instead on Pinterest, learning all the dos-and-don'ts of wedding save-the-dates.

One would find great difficulty in sourcing an employee of Oscar Health or Thrive who could state that they had seen Joshua Kushner leaving work early and going home. It was unexpected. Unheard of. But at sixteen hundred hours, the cofounder had practically swanned out of the building, cellphone in hand as he bartered with a florist. The smile on his face, one that had been on there since Joe kissed him 'good morning' at dawn, was simply unmissable. In his mind, and he was certain that this would be the only time he would dare admit such a thing, at least until he and Joe started a family- if they started a family- there were more important things on his mind than work right now.

Josh had been in the presence of royalty. He had stood among some of the most influential politicians in the world. But somehow, in this very moment, nothing was more daunting nor nerve-wracking than the prospect of asking his lover to marry him.

And nothing made him happier.

By forty-nine minutes past five, Josh had the ring, complacent in its palatial box, standing against a bottle of Laurent Perrier Brut he had somehow found tucked away in the liquor cabinet. As cliched and played out as it was, Josh figured it would be appropriate to propose after dinner, perhaps during dessert, for optimum triteness. A jazz record playing softly in the background, some mood lighting in the form of scented candles, a dessert made for two. Joe, being as smart as he was, would probably figure a proposal was coming just from the lengths the normally reserved and demure Josh was going to in order to ensure the night was perfect.

Unfortunately, Josh's tortellini in meat sauce had not gone spectacularly well and was not fit for consumption, which meant that a call to a local favorite restaurant of Joe's was needed, not that the Brit would really care. Josh debated as to whether he should keep the remnants of his failed meal for his boyfriend's amusement later, but then reasoned with himself that he perhaps should not draw attention to his less favorable qualities when on the precipice of a proposal. He was just thankful that it was the dinner that went wrong, he anticipated it would anyway, so he had a backup plan.

His partner would be home any minute now, and by the end of the night, Joe would go from being his boyfriend to his fiancé.

The clock struck six.

Then seven.

Then eight.

By nine, Josh's sweater had long since been discarded and replaced with a worn-out Harvard Business tee. Dinner had been shoved into Tupperware containers and left in the fridge, with the candles being blown out and tossed back into the cupboard. Josh was curled up on the sofa, alternating between staring at his phone and the unanswered messages he had sent to Joe and the ring he had hoped would be on his partner's finger by the end of the night.

Had he found the ring?

Had he suspected Josh's intention to propose tonight?

Was he even safe? Had something happened to him?

This was unlike Joe, usually so responsible, and never one to ignore his boyfriend. Yet there was a first time for everything, Josh figured, and here, on what should have been the happiest day of his life, Josh was blinking back angry tears. When he should have been smiling and laughing, listening to the dirty jokes Joe had saved only for Josh's ears, skimming the back of Joe's hand with the pad of his thumb, he was instead sheltering himself under a pile of blankets, trying to shield the shattered pieces of a broken heart that no amount of Rick and Morty could fix.

As he watched the moonlight seep in from the windows, the clock on Josh's phone shifted from ten to eleven, but he had stopped checking that a short time ago. He figured, at least, if Joe were injured or missing, Josh as the emergency contact would have been notified.

As disturbing as it sounds, that was of little relief to Josh. He was glad that his boyfriend was at least safe, it also meant that his boyfriend was actively avoiding his messages, but he didn't know why. Josh didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to consider the possibility of Joe having an affair. Flashes of a younger, prettier man or woman wrapped in Joe's arms, kissing his lips and raking their fingernails across his abs haunted Josh's mind to the point where he shook his head like a dog in a crazed attempt to rid himself of such horrors. A sleazy hotel room, cheap and thick with the stench of hard liquor, a stained bed that had the misfortune of witnessing countless sins, and the frequent flickering of broken neon lights as Joe took another lover for his own.

It was physically sickening.

Josh laid down, his phone on the coffee table and the ring lazily discarded on the floor. He recited the bedtime Shema, clinging to the hope that his dreams would spare him from the painful truth and allow him to indulge in a brief reprieve where Joe's heart was his and his alone, only for him to be interrupted just as he closed his eyes. He heard the door unlocking and hastily threw the box under his pillow before Joe saw it. If Joe didn't feel as strongly about this relationship as he did, what was the point in enduring further humiliation by letting Joe know of his intention to propose?

"Hey, pumpkin," Joe greeted quietly. "I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Where were you?" Josh asked, and he despised the slight crack in his voice at the end of his sentence.

"I was at the wrap party, we just finished filming for- our date night. Josh, I cannot even tell you how sorry I am. We finished filming and it was really busy-"

"Too busy to respond to any of my texts?"

"Babe, I am unbelievably sorry," Joe pleaded. "I switched my phone off before filming and it slipped my mind."

"Yeah, you are unbelievable," Josh scoffed, and he knew it was a dangerous path to go down, but he was angry, and it seeped through the atmosphere. "We make plans, I take time out of my schedule- my busy, busy schedule- to clean the house, try to cook dinner, then pay for takeout when I burned our first dinner, I bought you flowers, I spent God knows how long picking out something nice to wear, I did so much for us tonight and you couldn't even check your phone. You had to have known about this party, or whatever, why didn't you just tell me?"

"It's not like the wrap party is an obligatory thing, I didn't mention it because I was planning on skipping it so I could be with you and I got caught up in the rush. I'm sorry I forgot but it wasn't intentional, Josh, I promise!"

Joe moved closer to his partner, but Josh pulled away before he could touch his hand. "Don't give me that. You went off drinking with your mates like some frat boy, doing God knows what whilst I was waiting for my boyfriend to pick up his damn phone and answer at least one of my messages instead of doing God knows what!"

"Oh, don't make this a maturity thing, Josh! Going around 'oh, I cleaned the house and I cooked' like that suddenly makes you Boyfriend of the Year for doing the bare minimum. What about all the date nights you've "rescheduled" with me in the past like I'm some kind of client? That's not right. I'm not a client of yours, we talk, we kiss, we cuddle, we fuck and yet I have to make an appointment with a secretary to see you!"

"I'm not making this a "maturity thing", Joe, this is a one-of-us-cares-more-about-this-relationship-than-the-other-does thing!" Josh snapped. "One of us tried to do something nice for the other and the other one got drunk with his friends and completely bailed. If you think that makes that person immature, well, that's on you."

"I cannot believe you," Joe muttered darkly. "I'm a goddamn adult, Josh, there is only a six-year age difference between us. If I'm too immature for you, then maybe you should find some friends of your own age to hang out with instead of moping over me like a lost puppy. I'm sorry that I forgot our plans and I'm sorry that I stressed you out but I'm not going to let you run me down and call me immature and accuse me of not caring over one mistake." 

"You're seriously yelling at me now? After everything you've done tonight, why are you the one snapping? How am I supposed to believe that you're sorry when you're snapping at me and telling me how unreasonable I'm being after you ditched?" 

"I can't talk to you when you're like this," Joe grated. "I really am sorry that I forgot and you have a right to be upset with me but this isn't good and I don't want this fight to escalate into something bigger that we can't come back from, because that's where it's going. I love you. Good night, Josh."

Josh did not offer up a response as he watched Joe wordlessly skulk off to their bedroom, slamming the door shut as he did it. Josh resumed his initial position, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. A throw Joe had bought for him when Josh asked him to move in. A quilt Elizabeth had stitched for Joe when he was in his youth and obsessed with pirates that had embarrassed Joe when Josh found it in the back of his closet on moving day but Josh insisted he bring with him because it was cute. The comforter Joe draped around himself the morning after their first time, already so at home in Josh's presence. 

Josh brought all three of those blankets up to his face as he quietly cried himself to sleep that night.

💍

To say that argument was catastrophic would be a drastic understatement. Josh had all but moved into the living room whereas Joe had taken up refuge in their bedroom. The only place they truly saw each other was the kitchen, and even then, they were familiar enough with each other's schedules and habits to avoid each other. There was one instance in which they were both in the kitchen at the same time, Josh having made himself a pitiful peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the height of his abilities when cooking, whilst Joe prepared himself a grilled chicken that, quite frankly, briefly made Josh want to forget they were fighting. For a minute, it seemed Joe felt the same way after seeing his boyfriend's pathetic attempt at a meal and their eyes met for a brief moment, almost smiling, almost at peace. But then Joe turned away and shook his head before retreating to the bedroom, and Josh was left alone, a half-eaten sandwich on his plate and a sorrowful expression on his face.

He didn't have time to focus on it, however. Instead, Josh had to catch up on work that he neglected in favor of daydreaming about an imaginary wedding, lost in a trance where psychedelic visions of rings and flowers passed him by, only for him to come crashing back to Earth in the worst possible way. 

Generally satisfied with a long, productive workday and enjoying the fulfilling nature of his duties, Josh usually threw himself into his work, relishing in every phone call, email, meeting and employee interaction he had. But today he felt tired and numb. His world was composed of bland greys and beige tones, and work was unable to save him from it. Even his laptop seemed to recognize this dull day, as it shut itself down for updates whilst Josh was busy answering urgent emails, meaning there was only one person he could depend on.

Walking to his own bedroom felt like a death march for Josh, as every step closer filled him with dread, like there was lead lining his stomach and dragging him down. It was an emotion he was not used to feeling around Joe, and even less because of Joe. But there the door was, Joe on the other side, still resentful of earlier remarks. But the sooner one of them made an effort, the sooner this would all be over, Josh reasoned with himself, and that slither of hope lead him to push the door open.

"Hey," Josh mumbled. "My laptop is updating, and I have some emails to send, can I please use yours?"

"It's in the study," Joe replied, still not turning his attention away from his novel.

"Thanks," Josh said. He turned around, preparing to exit, only for him to swivel around at the last moment and face his boyfriend. "I love you," he said quietly.

Joe's gaze flickered up from his book for a moment, tentative and unsure, watching Josh stand awkwardly in the doorframe, running a hand through his thick brown hair as he anticipated a response. "I love you too," he murmured before bringing his attention back to his story.

Josh took that as an informal dismissal from his boyfriend and trudged along to the study, his heart weighing down his stomach as the dull thud of every step reverberated in his ears. Flashes of a silver band in a blue velvet box replayed in his mind, a box he was beginning to doubt he would ever be able to open.

He logged onto Joe's laptop, only to be met with a series of opened tabs. Josh blinked a couple of times, barely believing his own eyes, half-convinced to rush over and fetch his glasses, whilst the less rational part of him told his brain that such a vision was fleeting, like an eclipse or a rainbow, and would disappear the second he moved.

'how to convert to judaism'.

'how to talk to your partner about converting to judaism'.

'how to talk to a rabbi about converting to judaism'.

'jewish learning center of new york'.

'jewish wedding traditions'.

A renewed hope bloomed in his stomach, and flashes of the ring turned into longstanding vision in his mind, a whirlwind of him on bended knee presenting his lover with a ring that was graciously accepted with open arms and a sweet smile.

A brief flash in his mind reminded him that Joe was an actor, and was perhaps just doing research for a role, and for a moment, Josh's heart sank into the nethermost depths of his stomach, pulling every inch of his body down with him. Ever the realist, Josh opened a new tab and Googled Joe's name, looking for any articles talking about his boyfriend landing a new role in an upcoming Jewish film, only to find zero results.

Josh had experienced many highs throughout his life. Graduating from Harvard. Starting up Thrive and Oscar Health. Interviews and meetings with all the most influential people in the corporate world.

This high was simply indescribable.

Josh closed the laptop, not even bothering to check his emails, and rushed back to his bedroom, ready to surprise his partner with a proposal, only for the closed door to remind him of the current barrier standing between him and his desires.

Almost instantly that dreaded feeling came back, torturous and aching, twisting and writhing in his stomach and slithering into every happy thought that had crossed his mind since opening Joe's laptop, poisoning his hopes at the roots and shrinking his dreams into nothing.

Would Joe even want to marry him after that argument? After Josh insinuated- no, not insinuated, outright told him that he didn't care enough about this relationship, what would make his boyfriend want to stay with him if he was under the impression Josh didn't think he was giving their relationship his all? Still, he tentatively knocked on the door before opening it, peeking his head through the crack.

"Joe?" Josh asked quietly. "Can we talk?"

Joe didn't speak but he put down his novel and patted the bed, gesturing for Josh to join him. The entrepreneur did as requested, sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of his boyfriend. Of all the years spent in his own home, Josh had never felt as uncomfortable as he did now, his bed cold and hard under him. "So, about the other night..."

"I'm sorry that I missed our date night," Joe said. "And I'm sorry that I didn't message you. You were right, you had gone to a lot of effort to put this together, and it was inconsiderate and hurtful of me to skip it."

"What I said about you... not caring about this relationship was stupid," Josh said. "I realize that now. It was offensive and wrong and I'm sorry for insulting your maturity."

He didn't mention what it was that had inspired this epiphany, with their most recent argument only just ended, Josh didn't want to open Joe's mind to the idea of marriage, especially if that was an avenue that had now closed for him.

"Well, I mean, you had a point, it was pretty dumb of me to forget our plans and it was even dumber of me to switch my phone off. If that had been you, I would have been worried sick about you," Joe replied. "I know I made a mistake, and it was a stupid one. It was really fucking stupid of me, babe. But I love you, Joshua Kushner, from the bottom of my heart. I want to make it up to you and I will do everything in my power to do that. Full bells and whistles. The whole nine yards."

"You don't- you know I'm not that type of person, Joe," Josh mumbled.

"I know," Joe replied softly, gently taking Josh's hand within his own. "But you've been so stressed out and working so hard lately and this fight has made it so much worse. Let me do something nice for you, pumpkin. Run you a bubble bath. Make you a nice pasta dish for dinner. Romantic but nothing fancy. If that's okay with you."

"Do you promise that this won't happen again?" Josh asked quietly.

"Of course, pumpkin," Joe said softly.

"Do you promise to share that bath with me?"

"I do, and I'm going to make good on that promise right now, babe," Joe said, pulling Josh up with him. "I have that coconut bodywash that you like, some of that massage oil left over that we can use later..."

"Wait, Joe," Josh said faintly. "Just one more thing. I know I haven't been particularly affectionate or romantic as I could be with you and that's on me. You deserve better and I'm going to start living up to that."

"Joshua, baby," Joe cooed. "I'm not with you because I want increased affection or big romantic gestures, I'm with you because I am entirely, utterly in love with your being. Who or what brought this on?"

"That other night, when you weren't answering my texts, I thought it was because you were... with someone..." Josh murmured, feeling his cheeks darken at the admission and his voice quieten. "I thought maybe, my date night was too little, too late."

Joe dropped his hand instantaneously and spun around, hardened blue eyes meeting frightened brown ones. "Joshua Kushner, I love you. I love you so, so much and I'm sorry there was a time where I made you feel unloved because you most definitely aren't. I don't want there to be anyone else," Joe said, and although he finished the sentence there, Josh perfectly understood how it was to be finished. 

Even with that statement in mind, and their argument resolved, it still felt too soon to propose. Although the idea was enticing, there were still fresh wounds that needed time to dry over and heal and words that still stung when replayed in the mind. 

And until then, he was perfectly content with living in the afterglow. 

💍

Josh didn't get the opportunity to propose to Joe for another month. It was not necessarily that anything had come between the two, they were as close as ever, but more so that they had both been busy and Josh wanted it to be special, he wanted time to plan and savor the moment. After a close call a couple of days prior when Joe had been doing the laundry and had been a mere moment away from opening Josh's near-empty sock drawer, the ring in plain sight, Josh had felt paranoid and exposed ever since and opted to keep the ring with him instead.

There was, of course, the additional issue that despite researching 'how to talk to your partner about converting to Judaism', Joe had never breached the topic of conversion with Josh, to his slight disappointment. The entrepreneur had tried several times to ever so subtly bring the topic up in conversation but either he was too subtle in his messaging or Joe was aptly avoiding the subject. He chose to believe the former over the latter, the second option was just too hurtful to imagine.

But for now, he and Joe were in a great place, and for that he was thankful. After two days of arguing, being able to sit comfortably on his sofa, working from home whilst his boyfriend made the bed in another room, their bedroom, felt like a luxury to Josh. It sounded like an entitlement, something to be expected but it was in no uncertain terms a privilege and a right, in his eyes. Any minute anyone spent in Joe Alwyn's illuminating presence should feel like an honor, thought he.

"Hey, pumpkin," Joe greeted, wrapping his arms around Josh. "I was just thinking, a trip to Central Park sounds nice right about now."

"Okay, well, do you want to text me when you're on your way home and I'll order dinner for us then?"

"Josh," Joe chastised playfully. "You know what I meant. Didn't you?"

"Oh, with me," Josh chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Fifteen more minutes? I just need to finish this up and I'll be right with you, babe."

"I'll be counting down the seconds, Kushner," Joe said, detaching himself from Josh's body.

Ever since his father's fall from grace, and especially after his brother's disastrous time in office, Josh had been used to hearing the Kushner name chewed up and spat out of the mouths of people, like poison. Hearing Joe say it though, lighthearted, and free of judgment, well, that was a different feeling entirely. For once, his name didn't feel like a burden, a curse word, an obscenity, but rather a gift, something long-lasting he wanted to share with Joe.

Josh finished sending his emails in less than fifteen minutes, certain that there would be perfectly unprofessional typos abound but too thrilled about the prospect of date night with Joe to care. He grabbed both his coat and Joe's and slipped one on, only to feel something in one of the pockets. It was not heavy by any means of the word, but it was noticeable, and Josh realized in an instant what he had been keeping in there. He hesitated for a moment, wondering whether he should take it out and leave it behind, but Joe's playfully loud whistling reminded him that he had to go, and not having an adequate hiding spot planned, Josh kept it with him, toying with it in his hand as he and Joe left the house and found a cab.

Central Park was every bit as beautiful as one could hope for it to be if they intended to go for a stroll. The September air carried with it a gentle warmth as leaves of mauve, amber, and titian danced in its wake under the pale blue sky, not yet evening but the weariness of the day was evident in its hue. Joe clasped Josh's hand within his own, linking them together as they traced the perimeter of the park, languid and at their own pace. At one point, a pair of twenty-something girls shyly approached Joe and asked for a picture and an autograph, which he happily obliged with a small smile on his face. Josh took the picture with a playful smirk on his face and gleefully referred to Joe as "Mister Bigshot" for the rest of the walk.

They had been there just under an hour, listening to the wind change from melodic to haunting, and watching the leaves go from drifting down gently onto the water to plummeting onto the surface with great velocity. The pair were having a quiet conversation about mundane things, simply soaking up the warmth from each other's presence on a cold Thursday afternoon. It was sweet in its simplicity, how devastatingly easy it was to be in the moment with each other, absorbing each and every thing that was said about the other, and then some. 

"Did you skip lunch today, pumpkin?" Joe asked reproachfully.

"Not on purpose," Josh mumbled. "I was just busy with work and it slipped my mind."

"Joshua, you need to eat. The next time you're working from home, you're telling me and I'm making you lunch or I'm leaving something in the fridge. Not eating is bad for you, babe, and you need your big genius brain for your line of work."

"Yes, Mom," Josh replied, defeated, but simultaneously warmed by Joe's caring nature.

"Hmm, think I prefer it when you call me Daddy, pumpkin," Joe teased.

"Maybe I should try and find those fans of yours earlier, I'm sure that news would thrill them, they'd gladly oblige."

"You're talking like you haven't."

"Keep mentioning it in public and I never will again," Josh commented drily.

Joe playfully rolled his eyes and was about to refute that claim, but Josh's stomach reminded him of what he had been chastising his boyfriend for in the first place, and he changed tack. "That's it. I know a great kosher restaurant only a short cab ride away from here, and you and I are having an early dinner right now."

"It's only just past five, babe, it's still a bit too early for dinner."

"I don't care, babe, you need to eat and we're doing it now," Joe decided, gently tugging Josh over to the park exit in order to find a cab.

Mike's Bistro was quintessential Josh and Joe. It had to it an understated elegance that some would recognize, and others wouldn't, and it provided a much-needed refuge from the wind, which had grown wilder and colder since they left Central Park. The atmosphere was warm, and the patrons and staff were friendly and welcoming, even as some of them toted some of the most expensive wines and steaks in New York City. Joe had seemed slightly nervous as the cab pulled up to the restaurant, as if worried his partner wouldn't think highly of it, but Josh thought it seemed nice. 

"Is this okay, babe?" Joe asked tentatively.

"Yeah, this is good, honey. But, seriously, we can just stick with appetizers, it's not a big deal and it's still pretty early."

"We'll start with appetizers," Joe corrected.

"Only because you're hot when you tell me what to do," Josh relented quietly as Joe led them downstairs to a table.

Joe pulled out Josh's chair for him, still slightly pink from Josh's earlier comment, before sitting down in his own. Even from across the table, he reached out to bring their hands together, and whilst Josh was calm and composed as he complied, internally he was swooning. This was the type of magic that most couples complained that they lost over the years, he was still feeling three years later. It was electrifying, to say the least, and suddenly, that ring in his pocket felt heavier than ever before.

"Josh? Josh?" Joe called out, snapping his mind back into the present.

"Sorry, I was a little distracted," Josh replied.

"You weren't thinking about work, were you, Josh?" Joe asked, his voice a little higher and his smile slightly smaller.

It simply broke Josh's heart.

"Babe, no, I wasn't, I promise. I was thinking about you, and how happy I am to be here with you right now," the entrepreneur replied, raising Joe's hand to his lips for a brief kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I've been thinking, honey," Josh said casually. "I have a work trip to London coming up, you don't have any films to shoot for the next month or so, do you want to come with me? Get a nice hotel, do some sightseeing, make a mini-vacation out of the whole thing?"

"That sounds amazing. When did you plan this, Romeo?" 

"I've had it in the back of my mind for a couple of weeks now, and you always get so happy when you travel back to your home, I thought it would make you smile."

"You know, it's funny that you say that," Joe began. "Cause when I first moved to New York, I never, ever saw myself calling it home. I could get married, start a family, grow old here and it would still be second fiddle to London. Until we met, and I fell in love with you, and I began thinking about London less and thinking about you more and London became secondary to me. And I realized, it wasn't New York that had necessarily become home for me, it was you, pumpkin. I wanted to come home to you every night, I wanted embrace you and be with you more than I wanted to be in London. And I didn't realize that until recently, but it's something I've felt for the longest time."

"I don't even know what to say to that," Josh murmured. "I want to say I love you, because I do, and I love you even more after hearing that but it doesn't feel like enough."

Joe leaned in closer to his boyfriend as he spoke next, bringing their eyes together, tender and bright. "I love you will always be enough when it's coming from you, Josh."

Josh didn't have an answer to that statement that didn't extend beyond furious blushing and nervous chuckling, so he bowed his head down, but Joe knew how much it meant to him. The pair settled into an easygoing conversation about what to do in London over some spicy dumplings that Josh mostly ate himself. He felt a little bad, considering how much Joe liked dumplings too, but the Brit insisted that he take the lion's share, given that he skipped out on lunch that day. It was just one of the many ways Joe was considerate, caring, understanding of Josh's needs, and each and every tiny thing Joe did that night from holding Josh's hand to pulling his chair out for him made Josh's heart beat faster. 

He knew what he had to do.

"So, are you ready to start thinking about a main course now, babe?" Joe asked, but once more, Josh's mind was elsewhere.

Joe had been so emotional, so vulnerable, and open with him. It must have been hard, even for someone as out there and confident as Joe. Now it was his turn to do the same, to say to his boyfriend what he knew he would eventually end up asking from the very first time they kissed. 

"Wait, Joe," Josh interrupted shakily. "You look very handsome tonight."

"You've told me that about seven times tonight, but I'll gladly hear it again. And it would make me even happier to tell you that you are the hottest man alive," Joe said with a smile.

"Thanks," Josh replied with a slight blush. "But I wanted to say more. I'm not particularly romantic-"

"I disagree," Joe intervened, squeezing Josh's hands. "Sorry, babe, continue."

"-so, I'm just going to cut to the chase here. Joe, as cheesy as this sounds, you are the best thing that's ever been mine and at this point, I truly cannot picture my life without you in it. So, why not make it official? What you've probably guessed I'm trying to say here is; Joseph Matthew Alwyn, will you marry me?"

Joe was silent for a moment. He still gripped onto Josh's hands, rubbing tender little circles into the back of them, but his gaze had lowered and he was no longer looking at his boyfriend. 

This was it. 

Josh had killed them.

"Joe," Josh said quietly, dropping his partner's hands. "Was this not something you wanted?"

"Pumpkin, my answer is obviously yes," Joe replied. He made eye contact with Josh once more, and a sudden gleam was visible in his eyes. Shiny and raw, Josh was confused, until he realized they were tears forming.

"Are you sure?" Josh mumbled. "Because you hesitated, and I thought..."

"I'm just so fucking happy, Josh, I'm speechless. I couldn't picture myself with anyone other than you and now I get to spend the rest of my life with you and I couldn't be more excited about it. I love you, pumpkin, with all my heart."

Josh had never been one for public displays of affection. He simply just did not see the need to flout a relationship's success, he believed that success was in the private intimacy that a couple cultivated, behind closed doors when the chips were down. But in this very moment, the temptation to pull Joe Alwyn in for a kiss was too great, and Josh's inhibitions were forgone as soft lips brushed against his own, as if Joe knew what he had been thinking, and agreed with him.

"Do you want to just grab the check and go?" Joe murmured against Josh's mouth.

"Why would you want to do that?" Josh asked, a teasing tone in his voice and a smirk on his lips.

"Because I'm knackered," Joe responded innocently, though the gleam in his eye was far from it. 

"Excuse me," Josh called out to a waitress, pulling away from Joe. "We'd like the check, please. Babe, do you want to go hail a cab whilst I handle this?"

"God, you're hot," Joe murmured under his breath to himself, but Josh caught it anyway. "Yeah, I'll see you in a minute, pumpkin."

Josh couldn't help but chuckle in response as a light blush rose in his cheeks. Tipping the staff generously for their hospitality, he was swift in his exit, aiming to reunite with his boyfriend as soon as he could. He stepped outside, the autumn wind now a soft evening chill and found Joe standing beside a cab, a small grin on his face as he waited for Josh. "I missed you," he admitted as Josh rushed over to him.

"You're cute, but I was gone for two minutes, honey."

"You just proposed to me," Joe replied, opening the door for Josh. "Why wouldn't I want to spend every moment with you whilst I'm riding this high?"

"Well, that does make me feel better because I missed you too," Josh said as Joe sat next to him. Even the slightest gap between them felt like too much distance during this moment of euphoria, but Josh didn't want to come off as overly-needy, that was never good in a relationship.

His boyfriend, however, did not care about appearing needy at all. Taking advantage of the partition, it seemed, Joe leaned in and closed the gap between the two. Josh felt a muscular arm wrap around him and realized that Joe was pulling him in closer. Despite the unspoken promise of what was to come, this kiss was soft and languid. Josh found himself relaxing into his boyfriend's touch, shifting slightly to better position himself against Joe's body, only for the movement to remind him of something special in his pocket.

"Oh, wow, I almost forgot," Josh interrupted, breaking the kiss. "I have, um, I obviously bought you a ring, if you want it."

Joe looked on with barely suppressed glee as Josh fumbled around in his pocket until he procured the velvet box of dreams that had starred in his nightmares for the past few weeks. Opening it up, he presented to Joe a silver ring, gleaming and lustrous. "Look closely, babe," he instructed.

The word "forevermore" was inscribed on the ring, both in English and Hebrew, one word on each side. Josh watched hesitantly as Joe's grin stretched far too wide for it to be comfortable, not that the actor seemed to care as his gaze alternated between both inscriptions and back to Josh's face.

"Do you want to do it, pumpkin? Good practice for the wedding," he said, outstretching his hand and the ring.

Josh gingerly held Joe's hand within his own as he slid the ring on Joe's finger. "Fits like a glove," Joe commented. "You did such a good job, Josh, I can't believe you don't think you're romantic when this has been so beautiful."

"You deserve beautiful," Josh replied, and although he inwardly cringed at the clichéd response, he knew it in his heart to be true, and for the overjoyed expression on Joe's face, he would have recycled every hackneyed adage in existence.

"So, when do I get to go ring shopping for you?" Joe asked. "What? I can't have everyone thinking that you're single, there'd be way too many suitors for me to fight off."

"Pretty busy for the rest of the week and weekend too but next Tuesday afternoon works if you can tamper down your excitement until then."

"You want to see the Pinterest boards I've made for our wedding?" Joe offered. "I mean, don't get me wrong, this was a surprise, but I've been thinking about this for months now."

"We can swap phones, you can look at mine too," Josh replied, handing his over. 

"Oh, come on, babe! Nice and clean black-and-white is the obvious choice here! Not blue and white!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I wanted the theme of our wedding to reflect the color of your eyes," Josh huffed in faux annoyance.

"Okay, I will happily take copious amounts of cheesiness from you but I'm drawing a line right there," Joe said. "Now, we obviously have to discuss the venue first, pumpkin, and I'm thinking right here in NYC for us."

"Really? Cause I was hoping that my London boy would take me back to his homeland, I was hoping to get married there," Josh explained.

"I mean, on one hand, we've been engaged for five minutes and we're already disagreeing on everything but on the other hand, I think the fact that we've both spent so much time planning our wedding is probably a good sign that we really want it to happen. Still, I think we should drop this conversation for now and head straight into the sex before we start arguing over it and the mood is ruined," Joe suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea," Josh replied as the cab driver reached their home. "I love you, Joe."

"I love you, too."

Josh laughed as his fiancé tried to pick him and carry him over the threshold. He made it about three steps before Josh was returned to the ground and settled for handholding instead as they raced to their apartment.

Their home.

Joe was counting the seconds it took both of them to reach the door, but Josh was counting all of the opportunities, experiences they would have at their fingertips as they began their new life together, as one.

It was the end of an era but the start of an age.

It was the end of a chapter and the start of an adventure.

It was shy Joshua Kushner and spirited Joe Alwyn.

Forever lovers.


	4. And I'm Highly Suspicious That Everyone Who Sees You Wants You

If one were to look at Joshua Kushner, they would be predisposed to believe that jealousy was not a feeling he had experienced often, if ever. A Harvard graduate from a wealthy (albeit controversial) family and the founder of two successful businesses, he was generally the object of envy, rather than being subjected to it himself.

Not to mention, he had found a great deal of luck within more private matters of his life too. Many a morning had gone by where Josh had woken up to soft blond hair shielding smiling blue eyes, and he was soon hoping to make it a permanent thing, but moving in still seemed slightly premature. Still, little pieces of Joe's life had been drifting into Josh's life, gently falling into place like an autumn leaf from a tall tree gliding onto gently moving water. From his boxers in Josh's drawer to his favorite coffee mug standing tall next to the espresso machine, Joe was making himself welcome in Josh's home in the most mundane of ways, and Josh couldn't help but smile every time Joe did something as simple as brush his teeth in Josh's bathroom or iron his jeans in the laundry. 

So, overall, Joshua Kushner was in a pretty great place. 

For a self-proclaimed introvert, Josh was privy to invitations to some of the most exclusive soirees in the country, nay the world. That was not to say he attended them all- why would he want to stand stiff in the corner in a tight suit, feeling somewhat awkward and shy when he could instead be at home in his pyjamas, Joe resting comfortably against him- but this particular gathering was being hosted by a prominent investor in the private healthcare sector, and therefore Josh believed it beneficial to attend. Besides, he knew of multiple acquaintances of his that had RSVP'd 'yes' and, well, he would never turn down the opportunity to see Joe in a fitted tuxedo. 

Josh and Joe had arrived at The Plaza hand-in-hand that evening. They were promptly directed to the Edwardian room, and Josh had to suppress a squeal when he discovered they would be seated near Larry Page, a longtime idol of his. 

"You seem to be really into him," Joe joked. "Should I be jealous?"

"Please, this is just payback for the Golden Globes when Jodie Foster sat at the table next to us and you started hyperventilating." 

"Touche, mon amour." 

Josh recognized far more people than he initially thought he would on his table. Carl Byers was sitting with them, as was Josh's own partner, Mario Schlosser, and he felt his nerves dissipate. He gave Joe's hand a squeeze and looked up at him adoringly. "I'm glad you're here with me, Joe," he said. 

Joe looked somewhat less enthused, a little anxious even, given how little he knew about the industry, but that didn't make his response any less genuine as he squeezed Josh's hand in return. "I love you," he whispered. 

Entering the soiree, Josh felt much more confident than Joe did. These were his people, they understood him, and even if he was more introverted and shy than his colleagues, he belonged here. Joe, however, seemed significantly more nervous, although this was not his first event hosted by one of Josh's fellows, it was still largely different to the parties thrown by those in the entertainment or fashion industry. One of the first familiar faces Josh spotted was a distant companion of his, Bryan Roberts, who was swift to welcome the pair to the event, drink in hand. 

"Good evening, Bryan, it's good to see you again," Josh greeted. 

"And you too," Bryan said. "Ah, who is this fresh face?"

"Oh, right," Josh said, looking back at a flustered Joe. "Sorry, I'm bad at introductions. Joe, this is Bryan, an investor in Cloudflare and an acquaintance of mine. Bryan, this is my partner, Joe."

"Oh, a new partner! You must have quite the portfolio then. Oscar or Thrive?" Bryan asked. 

"Uh, neither," Joe replied. "Romantic partner. I'm not in the business." 

"Ah, my mistake then. Sorry about that. Nice to meet you anyway, Joe," Bryan said, extending his hand. 

Joe accepted the handshake with a small smile on his face, and made polite conversation with Bryan, who naturally asked him about his vocation, given that he was not a part of the finance industry. Josh just stood by Joe's side, just enjoying the conversation and how well Joe seemed to fit into every aspect of his life, even those he didn't have a connection to. 

"Did I do well, babe?" Joe asked after Bryan had bade them both a good evening. 

"It's not a test, honey," Josh replied. "But, by God, if I wasn't absolutely smitten with you before, watching you talking about healthcare definitely would have left me head-over-heels." 

Joe pressed his lips to Josh's cheek briefly, and the investor was thankful for the dim lighting of the room because the small action brought out a faint blush in Josh's cheeks. "It's been nine months and I still have that effect on you?" Joe teasingly asked, to which Josh could only nod. 

"Brilliant. I hope it never stops, it's so adorable," Joe said as they reached their table. 

Josh, in part to try and make Joe blush too, pulled out Joe's chair for him. To his delight, it did work, and Joe looked up at him adoringly when he did. Josh introduced Joe to the bigwigs of the table and their respective partners. Small talk quickly devolved into a heated conversation, and outsiders such as Joe quickly fell through the cracks as the topic became more centered on work and the evolving healthcare industry, of which he knew very little of. 

In retrospect, part of Josh knew that his boyfriend was probably not enjoying the topic of conversation. Or he should have at least suspected it. His chat with Bryan had been brief, and had covered a wide array of topics but this was an unending discourse about a new start-up that was moving too fast for Joe to follow. Talks of health insurance and the stock market would bore anyone who wasn't in the business and would especially wreak havoc upon the mind of someone as lively and artsy as Joe. Still, he was mature about it, he sat there silent with a polite and forced smile on his face as Josh conversed with his colleagues about the trade.

There was the argument to be made that perhaps Josh could have done more to ensure his boyfriend was comfortable in an environment he knew nothing about. Joe had stood there, aloof and still as Josh found himself wrapped up in the midst of a passionate debate. Joe had tapped Josh on the arm a couple of times, though the first two evidently went unnoticed by him, for the third was much more forceful in nature, coupled with a quiet clearing of the throat as well.

"I'm just going to get a drink," Joe said softly.

"Oh, okay, did you want me to-"

"No, it's fine. Stay here."

Josh nodded in agreement and leaned in slightly for a soft kiss on the cheek, only for Joe to pull away and leave the table without another word. A little flustered, and slightly embarrassed was he, but he brushed it off and turned back to his colleagues, continuing their earlier conversation whilst Joe slipped away.

Chatter quietened down ten minutes later, and when it did, Josh noticed that his boyfriend was yet to return. He didn't think too much of it, perhaps the bar was simply busy tonight, but he did miss Joe, especially when his associates were partnered up and embracing their wives. Ten minutes turned into fifteen, and Josh was beginning to feel somewhat concerned about his partner, not to mention uncomfortable with the displays of affection coming from other couples on the table, who had clearly reached the bar before Joe did.

On the brink of excusing himself, Josh stood up, only for a familiar sound to cut through the assortment of noise, clear as the crystal laid out on the white linen. It was Joe's laughter, hearty and bold reaching Josh's ears, and although he would have preferred to be the one making him laugh, he was at least thankful that Joe had found a friend in a setting that was seldom visited by those of his industry. Until he got a closer glimpse and realized just who it was that had captured Joe's attention.

Former President of the United States and resident playboy Barack Obama was seated next to Joe, his hand resting far too comfortably on Joe's arm for Josh's liking. Joe didn't seem to mind though, as he threw his head back in laughter, exposing Obama's lecherous grin to Josh's view. Joe may have gone into this with innocent intentions, but he knew that thoughts running through the ex-president's mind were anything but, and they were a little too close for Josh's liking.

"Excuse me," he murmured to no one in particular, and set off in the direction of the bar.

The pair were becoming clearer as Josh came closer, and he could see the salacious, greedy glint in Obama's eyes as they grew nearer, speaking nothing but trouble and lust, whether Joe was aware of it or not. Knowing of the shallow nature of reputations, Josh was never one to judge someone based on hurried, over-dramatized whispers in the night, but when one as influential and revered as Obama was also a supposed Casanova, and was also in the midst of charming another's boyfriend, well, excuse him for becoming slightly defensive.

"I can't believe someone as handsome as you is all alone here tonight," Obama flirted.

"He's not, actually," Josh said, stepping behind Joe and placing a hand on his other shoulder.

"Ah, the other Kushner," Obama sneered. "I've heard so many things about you. John, is it?"

"It's Josh."

"Nice. So, are you Joe's friend? Business associate?" Obama asked, and the condescending tone told Josh he knew exactly what the dynamic of their relationship was.

"His boyfriend. Of nine months," Josh explained, his grip on Joe's shoulder tightening slightly.

"Mister President was just telling me about the efforts of the Obama Foundation to improve access to the arts, Josh," Joe said, seemingly oblivious to the sharp tension and silent snarls currently being exchanged.

"Joe, please. Call me Barack. Call me whatever you want," Obama purred, squeezing Joe's arm. "Oh, my. I do declare that suit does not do justice to your physique."

When Josh had expected Joe would pick up on the blatant and very cheesy flirting, his boyfriend instead blushed at that stupid remark and continued to allow for Obama to shamelessly ogle him.

"So, Joe, I recently saw 'The Favorite' with my... friend and we both agreed that you were undeniably the star of the show."

"You're too kind, Barack but Emma and Rachel are what makes the film so great, their dynamic was impeccable."

"Very true. And speaking of pecs, Joe, I thought-" Obama started. 

Joshua was a patient man. It was a skill one had to learn when investing in startups and innovation, such businesses simply did not become successful overnight, and any shareholder knew that perseverance and tolerance were essential in ensuring someone did not lose trust in the procedure, and it was a virtue he carried with him everywhere. 

But even the most tolerant, forgiving of people from mothers to nuns had a breaking point, and Josh was swiftly reaching his with every gross comment Obama made, and every missed opportunity Joe had to shut him down. So, he racked his brain for any possible solution to the issue, anything that would show up Obama and turn Joe's attention back on him. 

"-Joe, did you want to dance with me, honey?" He asked. "I can request our favorite song."

"It doesn't look like anyone else is dancing. Maybe later, pumpkin," Joe replied, looking up at Josh and missing the brief smirk that crossed Obama's face.

"Oh, okay," he squeaked in response, all bravado lost. "If you need me, I'll be over at our table."

If Josh had waited a single second longer before leaving, he would have noticed Joe turning his head to place a soft, apologetic kiss on his lips, but instead all Joe saw was his back and the sight of his boyfriend shuffling away to sit alone at a table full of couples.

Dinner arrived, spinach shaksuka, one of Josh's favourites, not that he felt hungry. Whilst everyone else was tucking in, all laughter and smiles, he was looking forlornly over at the bar, where Joe's back was still turned to him and he could still see remnants of desire clouding Obama's eyes. When Obama lifted his hand off Joe's arm, Josh was relieved for a moment. Perhaps Obama was leaving, or Joe had wearied of the former president's overt flirtations. Contentment overcame him for less than a second, only for Obama's now-free hand to position itself in Joe's hair. It was no innocent ruffle of curls like one would assume Obama would dole out like candy on Halloween, but rather a slow and deliberate running of his hand through Joe's hair.

And in that moment, Josh saw only a blinding red as a vehement anger washed over him, misplaced, misdirected, misunderstood in nature. He couldn't pinpoint who he felt was most deserving of it, be it Joe for refusing to reject Obama's advances, Obama himself for his aggressive attempts at seducing a spoken-for man, or himself for failing to recognize just how lucky he was to have Joe with him tonight. He didn't know, and he truly did not have the time to dwell on such musings, not when he had to demonstrate such restraint and control over every fiber of his being, all of which were yearning for Joe and simultaneously encouraging him to engage one of the most respected men in American politics in a brutal act of barbarianism.

Josh had not once thought of Joe as a possession, someone he owned. It was unhealthy, most obviously, and always led to the formation of a dangerous dynamic in relationships. Furthermore, Joseph Matthew Alwyn was not the type of man who could be tied down or owned. He embodied the sense of independence that every patriot in the country prided their homeland on, unwavering in the self-sufficient air that hung off him as well as Josh did at an event. In the earlier stages of his acting career, when he was maintaining his rising star with his relationship with Josh, a lesser man may have been tempted to use Josh as a means of success, for even without the connections in the film industry, he still had the money to slip into the pockets of the most unscrupulous casting agents and directors. But Josh never offered to do that, largely because not only would it insult Joe's integrity but also because he genuinely believed in his boyfriend's determination, talent, and if he were to be extremely smitten for a moment, his looks. Better yet, Joe had never asked nor even suggested Josh do such a thing, and for that he was incredibly grateful. 

But none of that mattered in the present, not when Josh was aggravated, determined to do what he could to make Obama back down. It was primal, ugly, a hideous desire to present himself as dominant, to upstage and overshadow Obama until he retreated, tail between his legs. The mere thought embarrassed the logical, reasonable knew-Joe-was-a-person-and-not-his-property sector of his brain but the small yet disturbingly loud and dark part of his brain, a tiny denizen made of shadows and spiders and all other feared beings was encouraging Josh to grab the scotch the bartender was presently pouring for the pair, and dump it on Obama's head. 

Only for a friendly, Greek voice to halt him in his tracks. Energetic and vibrant, it was enough to distract Josh from his sinister ministrations as a genuine smile took over his face and he came face to face with his longtime friend, Arianna Huffington. 

"Joshua," she drawled, walking over to him. "I am so happy to see you here!"

"Arianna, hi!" Josh said, turning around. 

"How are you?" Arianna asked, pulling him in for a hug. "It has been far too long." 

"I've been great, thanks, and you? I hear Thrive Global is really, well, thriving!" 

Arianna released Josh, and for a moment, he thankfully had his back to Joe and Obama as he conversed with his friend. 

But then he heard Joe's laughter again, mixed in with Obama's own chortling, sleazy as ever and he remembered what was at stake here, and the briefly tame beast in his chest roared once more.

"Arianna, my sincerest apologies but I was actually just on my way out. There's a crisis with Thrive right now and I need to tend to it. Jared and I will see you for lunch sometime, perhaps?" 

"Of course. Have a nice night, Joshua," she said before drifting away. 

Josh gave a small wave in response before turning back to the direction of the bar. It felt as if Joe did not even care about the fact that Josh was sitting alone, waiting for him, he seemed mesmerized by the President, as if Josh were nothing. 

Obama's hands, thankfully, were resting on the table when Josh returned, scowling and discontent, though he had not let that most recent memory slip his mind. How could Joe not have been bothered by Obama's nauseating advances? And worse still, if this was how far Joe let suitors go with Josh in the vicinity, what happened at wrap parties? In London? Places where Josh was out of sight and out of mind?

"Oh. You again," Obama remarked, and he didn't even bother to hide his resentment this time. 

Josh didn't even dignify that with a response as he positioned himself between Joe and Obama, looking directly into confused blue eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry to break up this happy union but would you mind coming back to our table for dinner?"

Joe's eyes widened in response, clearly not expecting this confrontation, but before he could reply, Obama smugly cut in first, and Josh simply had to turn around and look at him. 

"Actually, Jeff, if you don't mind, I actually ordered some refreshments for Joe and I, so we'll be skipping dinner and dessert tonight."

Josh stepped back and turned around to see the bartender arrive with two champagne glasses filled with ice. Accompanying the glasses was a bottle of Krug Vintage 2006, a bottle one did not require a background in liqueur to understand cost a fortune. Still, Josh took a small, shallow delight in the knowledge that Joe was not into champagne and much preferred a bottle of red wine instead, particularly the Herzog Alexander Cabernet that Josh had bought for them on occasion. 

Josh's mood was quickly dampened, however, when he saw Obama's hand skitter across the bar to meet Joe's. He knew that trick perfectly well, he had tried it on Joe in the past when trying to cultivate a more intimate mood, to Joe's delight but when someone else was using it to try and win Joe over, that was simply unacceptable. 

"Yeah, that won't be happening," Josh replied and he picked up the champagne bottle Obama was pouring into the flutes and slammed it back onto the barkeep's side of the table. 

Naturally, the loud sound in a party filled with lighthearted chatter and soft jazz music caused a disturbance, and Josh could feel several eyes drifting away from elsewhere and focusing on him instead. 

"Excuse me?" Obama asked, wrapping his hand around the beverage and bringing it back- and it was in that movement that Josh recognized a distinct line around Obama's ring finger, where it appeared that a band had recently been removed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that my boyfriend will actually be having dinner and dessert with me tonight. And every other night."

"Whoa, calm down there, friend," Obama replied, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "I think you're being a tad possessive of dear Joe here. He's a grown man, he can make his own decisions."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you. Telling me 'oh, Joe and I will be skipping dinner tonight' as if I was actually talking to you and not him." 

"Joe," Obama said, ignoring Josh's comment. "I'm so sorry about this disruption to our conversation. If you want to chat in a more peaceful environment, I can have our champagne sent up to my room. The Royal Suite." 

Joe's eyes widened at the proclamation just as Josh's hardened. "Uh, that's fine, thank you," Joe replied. "I'll just stay down here." 

Josh reveled in that slight victory if only for a moment as a shaken Obama reapplied his undeterred facade and brought the champagne bottle back to the flutes. "That's fine, honey," he said casually. "Just say when."

Anything else Obama did that night was nothing compared to the sheer anger that coursed through Josh's body when that word fell from Obama's lips and shattered onto the floor. The discussion of Joe's body was uncomfortable, the touching of his hair was annoying but Obama having the gall to call Joe by Josh's own pet name for him? To write Josh out of the narrative as if he didn't exist? That well and truly crossed the line. He didn't even hear Joe begin to tell Obama that they were on a first-name basis only before he directed his attention to the champagne glass currently being extended to Joe- and focused his energy on making it fly onto the ground. He somewhat missed, thankfully, as the glass did not leave Obama's hand, but its content did as it spilled onto the bar, to the attendant's obvious disgruntlement. 

Josh withdrew his hand as guilt flushed his cheeks a brilliant rouge. Obama, for all his years in office, did not seem to have a response to Josh's boorish behavior as he quietly sat the now-empty glass onto the table, away from the spillage. 

"Joe, I-" Josh began before Joe exited. 

Joe did not say a word as he stood up from the bar, and he didn't so much as glance at Joshua once. He gave a curt nod to Obama, who offered a small slip of paper to Joe, only for one swift glower from Josh to result in him crumpling it up in his hand. 

Josh helplessly trailed behind Joe as he stormed over to the valet to collect his suit jacket. He hailed a nearing taxi cab, quickening his pace as if he did not intend to let Josh join him but Josh made use of the slight height advantage and length of his legs as he rushed to catch up with his boyfriend. He made it into the cab just in time, though Joe was still uninterested in giving Josh an inch of his attention until the cab driver turned on the radio, and he was satisfied that the driver was more focused on the EDM blasting through the tinny speakers than on their conversation. 

"So," Joe began in a low tone, and it was then that Josh truly appreciated how much trouble he was in. "Do you think you have a good reason for completely embarrassing me in front of one of my personal heroes, or should I give you five minutes to come up with a valid excuse?"

"He's not even a good person. So overrated," Josh mumbled under his breath, but when Joe turned to glare at him, he shrank into his seat and relented.

"There was no issue. You were busy, so I went to the bar and I struck up a conversation with someone who was interested in talking to me."

"Is that what this is about? You were trying to make me jealous?"

"This wasn't about anything, Josh. I went to the bar to get a drink, and Barack just happened to be there. He was very sweet, and we had a perfectly innocent conversation. If you were jealous over nothing, well, that sounds like a you problem."

"Nothing?" Josh chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "Joe, he was purring and stroking your arm. And your hair. There was nothing "sweet" or "innocent" about anything he wanted to do with you and I can't believe you're seriously pinning this on me."

"That doesn't mean I was going to do anything even if he was turning on the charm," Joe barked. "We've been dating for nine months and you don't trust me? Josh, what the fuck?"

It was the crestfallen look on Joe's face that snapped Josh out of a blinding rage. His expression, careworn and hurt, did not match his blatant disgust. It was one singular, wordless admonishment that brought Josh's anger tumbling down, and reminded him that pain and jealousy was a two-way street. Josh felt hurt that Joe was completely fine with Obama's flirting and Joe felt hurt that Josh didn't trust him to remain faithful. 

"It's not- I do..." Josh faltered.

Joe turned away, facing the window instead of Josh, who now bowed his head in shame. Where anger and unpleasantness had lingered before, mortification, remorse and just sadness were emanating off Josh instead as he watched his hurt boyfriend reach up to poke at his eye, dabbing away at what looked suspiciously like a tear. Back at the party, Josh felt a carnal need to touch Joe, if only to remind himself and Obama he was the only one who could, but in the present, Obama didn't even cross his mind as Josh yearned to glide his fingertips underneath wet blue eyes and press a loving kiss to pink cheeks, not to make any claim, but to show Joe that Josh was his too, and he wanted to be there for him. 

The taxi came to a stop, and Joe exited it without saying a word, the sheer sound of the door slamming being enough to let Josh know that he ought to resign himself to a night on the sofa. He offered hurried thanks to the driver and threw a few bills on the dashboard before running inside, desperate to catch Joe before the bedroom door closed.

"Joe?" Josh asked nervously, coming closer to the bedroom. "Joe, honey, can we please talk?"

The door swung open, revealing a disheveled Joe, free of his suit jacket and presently loosening his tie. Still, although his appearance may have appeared comical, his frustration was anything but as he glared at Josh, who buckled immediately. 

"Um," Josh chuckled nervously, not knowing where to start. "Can I come in?"

"It's your house," Joe said. "You can do whatever you want."

Josh didn't have the energy to determine why that comment made him feel so insecure, so hurt, but he knew it was cutting and cold, whether Joe had intended for it to be or not. "I guess I'll come in then."

Josh sat on the bed, expecting Joe to follow suit, but he instead pulled a chair over and sat opposite his boyfriend. "So, you're really mad," Josh observed. 

"Should I not be?" 

"No, no, you definitely should be," Josh gulped. "I was out of line. Way out of line."

"And?"

"And I'm sorry. It wasn't okay, what I did." 

"You're damn right it wasn't. Aside from the fact that you humiliated me, you also made yourself look like a total arse in front of your colleagues in one of the most exclusive hotels in New York. And for what?"

"Because you were bored of me," Josh concluded quietly. 

"Say again?" Joe asked, voice much gentler this time. 

"You're bored of me," Josh said, and the statement came as a realization. 

Jealousy was never truly about lack of trust in another person. It wasn't that Josh truly believed that Joe would leave him for Obama, or cheat on him, it was simply that Josh believed that he was inadequate when compared to others, and that Joe deserved more. To his surprise, however, Joe removed himself from the chair and sat next to Josh instead before he spoke again.

"I'm not bored of you," Joe cooed. "I mean, I wasn't feeling that particular conversation but I'm still into you. I didn't realize it would upset you if I excused myself."

"I feel like a child," Josh said. "I was acting like a child. It's not you leaving, I get that our conversation probably wasn't your thing. I just feel like you're more interesting than me, you're cooler than me. Like, you go to the Golden Globes, the Emmys, you work with so many fascinating people and you're so charming. I know it's stupid and it's so high school, I hate how childish this is, but you're way out of my league. I'm the unpopular dork dating the head cheerleader." 

"I'm sorry I was a little starstruck, babe. If someone else had been fawning all over you, I would have been seething. But, when Obama is talking to you, well, you kind of let things fall by the wayside for a bit."

Joe gave a small chuckle but Josh seemed unamused as he pouted slightly, dropping his eyesight to avoid Joe's gaze. "So, if I hadn't been you would have..."

"Of course not. I don't see Obama like that. I don't see anyone who isn't you like that."

"I was just worried that I was perhaps, boring you."

"Not at all, pumpkin," Joe said with a small smile. "You could never be boring to me. And just so you know, if we did go to high school together, I would have had the biggest crush on you. I would have been a dorky little theater kid, and you would have been a STEM-obsessed geek, so we wouldn't have interacted much, I don't think, but I still would have blushed and smiled every time you passed me in the hallway."

"Oh, I'm sure I would have made time for you, honey. I would have come to all of your performances and given each one a standing ovation."

"Right," Joe husked. "Before I give you a special performance definitely worthy of a standing ovation, can you promise me one thing?"

"Yep."

"Do you promise to never chuck another glass of champagne again? Because I was deeply worried that it was going to spill all over my shirt and Brandon would have killed me if it did." 

"I promise I will never act that stupid again. It was possessive and gross and so stupid of me and I should never have gone that far," Josh said. 

"I'm still mad at you," Joe said. "Not as much as I was earlier, but I am not making you dinner tonight. You can cook something nice for me to make up for what happened." 

"I think that's pretty fair, given what's about to happen," Josh replied with a smirk. 

"What's about to happen?" Joe asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Well, usually, after we fight, you and I, you know-"

"Shut up, dork," Joe teased with a smile before leaning in to give his partner a kiss. 

*

Josh heard it from TMZ when he awoke late the next day, that a heartbroken Harry Styles had called it quits with a desolate Obama following alleged cheating, confirming Josh's suspicions about the ring. He took everything that was said by the tabloids with a grain of salt, of course, knowing firsthand the devastating impact rumors could have, but he would also be lying if he didn't feel the slightest jolt of vindication rush through his body when he heard the news.

But then he felt a light tugging around his waist and realized that a sleepy Joe, unclothed and in need of warmth, was pulling him in closer and so he moved to meet his boyfriend's needs. And it was in that moment, innocent and soft, with nothing preventing Josh from indulging in the dulcet murmurs and unintelligible musings of the man next to him, from feeling his steady heartbeat pulsating in time with his own, that Josh realized there was nothing for him to be jealous of anyway.

He had all he could ever want.

"I love you," he muttered softly, bringing a hand up to Joe's hair.

Joe mumbled something incomprehensible in response, but by the way that Joe lightly kissed his chest before laying his head back down on it, Josh figured that Joe loved him too. Just as he was about to drift back into a light sleep, however, Joe lifted his head once more, slightly stirring the entrepreneur. 

"Do you have a shoot today, honey?" Josh asked, eyes closed.

"No, not today, pumpkin. We can spend the whole day in bed together. I just wanted to say sorry to you this time. You may have been out of order but I should have shut Obama down last night and I can see why me not doing that would make you so jealous because I know if someone did to you what he did to me and you did nothing, I would have punched the guy." 

"How about we make a pact? You'll save all that charm for me, and I won't let my insecurities get the best of me when we're out together?" 

"Agreed."

"Seal it with a kiss?" Josh asked. 

"I can think of something better," Joe replied, positioning himself atop Josh with a smirk. 

The second Joe's lips met his, Josh could feel his insecurities shrink. They wouldn't vanish, they wouldn't disappear, and unfortunately, their existence would be felt time and time again. But there was no real merit to the voices in his head, their shallow shrieks were blocked out by Joe's soft breathing instead, and the steadily quickening beat of his heart as Josh deepened the kiss. This was what was truly important, and the knowledge that he had that effect on Joe meant far more to Josh than any brief flirtations of a charlatan. 

And for now, Josh didn't think he would be experiencing jealousy again anytime soon.


End file.
